Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

Sometimes, your airheaded ways can cause you to drift off, leaving you un-present during conversations. Work on this and learn how to live in the moment, as this time of life is often so fleeting. 

Hangover cure: more shots. 

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

You’re probably feeling pretty anxious and upset right now about some recent situations in your personal relationships. Perhaps take a step back, reassess and trust what your gut tells you. 

Hangover cure: a hot girl walk. 

 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

You absolutely love to use your BeReal, which is funny, because you are possibly the least real person in the world. 

Hangover cure: green tea and a face mask. 

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

You’ve become more confident and assertive recently, and people are recognising that within you. Continue standing your ground, it will pay off in the long run. 

Hangover cure: greasy brunch. 

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

Gemini, you’re about to embark on some pretty big adventures in the next few months, and you are full of excitement. But remember to enjoy the present, and spend quality time with those around you. The present is just as important as the future! 

Hangover cure: Netflix and a joint.

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

Don’t let the haters bring you down, Cancer. Often your actions are taken the wrong way, and others may say bad things about you. Don’t stress about this, as those close to you will see you for who you really are. 

Hangover cure: stale toast and panadol. 

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

Usually I’m a bit harsh on Leos, so it’s time you get a half-decent horoscope. Your delusional sense of self confidence and ability to command a room is actually quite an achievement. Stay groovy. 

Hangover cure: just do gear.  

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

Try coping with all your problems via humour. Feeling fed up with the flatties? Take the piss out of them. Failed a test? LOL. Having relationship troubles? A few sarcastic jokes never 
hurt anyone. 

Hangover cure: cold shower and a root. 

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

There is nothing more unhinged than a Libra with a crush. Your flirtatious and easy-going nature is challenged, and you feel out of your depth. Don’t panic, revel in it. Feel all those gross and messy emotions, you need it. 

Hangover cure: black coffee on the front porch. 

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

Scorpios are so cool and unpredictable. Are you feeling numb and dead inside, or violently emotional? Who fucking knows. 

Hangover cure: tactical vom. 

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

It’s time to get on the grind. You’ve done enough fucking around this semester, so it’s time to get your ass into gear and your priorities straight. No more funny business. 

Hangover cure: fruber Maccas. 

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

Are you being a boss or are you being a bitch? There’s a fine line between looking out for your interests, and getting in the way of others. Keep your eyes on your own prize. 

Hangover cure: munch a full cucumber, straight up.