Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

It’s time to be more intentional with your relationships. Sometimes you have a tendency to space out and miss life’s important moments. Be sure to work on this, as you have plenty of love to give. 

Bad habit to break: Overspending. 

 

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

Youth is fleeting, reality is fake, money is a concept, and responsibility doesn’t matter. It’s time to make peace with your delusional tendencies.

Bad habit to break: Gossiping. 

 

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

Youth is fleeting, reality is fake, money is a concept, and responsibility doesn’t matter. It’s time to make peace with your delusional tendencies.

Bad habit to break: Gossiping. 

 

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

Youth is fleeting, reality is fake, money is a concept, and responsibility doesn’t matter. It’s time to make peace with your delusional tendencies.

Bad habit to break: Gossiping. 

 

Gemini

May 21 - Jun 20

A new adventure is on the horizon for you! Soak it all up, and take every opportunity that presents itself, especially ones involving people named Ben. The world is your oyster, Gemini!

Bad habit to break: Second guessing yourself. 

 

Cancer

Jun 21 - July 22

A new adventure is on the horizon for you! Soak it all up, and take every opportunity that presents itself, especially ones involving people named Ben. The world is your oyster, Gemini!

Bad habit to break: Second guessing yourself. 

 

Leo

July - Aug 22

If you’re feeling heartbroken and sad, it’s time to get back on the horse! Make that Tinder profile, fuck that hot flatmate, screw the crew, flirt in the club. There is no time like the present.

Bad habit to break: Dwelling on the past. 

 

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

If you’re feeling heartbroken and sad, it’s time to get back on the horse! Make that Tinder profile, fuck that hot flatmate, screw the crew, flirt in the club. There is no time like the present.

Bad habit to break: Dwelling on the past. 

 

 

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 22

You may feel a little more entrepreneurial in your spirit, and you should definitely lean into this. Maybe try to start a business, whether it is legal or illegal is up to you. Who knows, you could be the next Jeff Bezos.

Bad habit to break: Drinking too much. 

 

Scorpio

Oct 23 - Nov 21

Scorpio, I know you have such strong urges to seek revenge on everyone who has ever done you wrong. Instead, try seeking inner peace and happiness. The best revenge is living well!

Bad habit to break: Gaslighting your flatmates. 

 

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

What the fuck has been up your ass recently? Whatever it is, it must be huge. Try laxatives this week.

Bad habit to break: Complaining. 

 

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

This week you should take a spontaneous road trip. It’s time to seek a little adventure and get some fresh air. I hear Ranfurly is nice this time of year.

Bad habit to break: Being cheap.