Aquarius
The moon is screaming at you to avoid toxic friends. Now is the perfect time of the year to cut your circle down to those you actually want to be around. No point in feeding a plant you think is ugly and smells funny.
Art to make: A new collaged laptop screensaver
Pisces
Summer internship applications are open, but you already knew that. You’re so prepared that your most used apps are Canva (to create that stand-out CV) and LinkedIn. Remember to keep it cool in interviews, – no one wants a know-it-all energiser bunny for an intern.
Art to make: A fresh new V bottle bong
Aries
Bruh, that acid you bought from a dodgy BCOM breatha is gonna take you to a world where unicorns exist and your mum never cooks crockpot meals. But when you return to the real world it will be shit, so make sure to soak in all the goodness you can during the trip.
Art to make: An abstract painting
Taurus
Taurus, your funds are severely depleted. It's time to start dropshipping. Your best bet is fidget spinners or glass straws. Nothing gets a uni student going like mindless distraction and saving the planet.
Art to make: A haiku
Gemini
Remember that everyone happens for a reason when you get hit with bad news this week. Don’t be surprised when you see in your Insta dms. This is what you get for being into the worst species of people… Polytech students… argh.
Art to make: A dripping crayon canvas
Cancer
Make sure you're taking your magnesium before bed, you’ll need all the rest and recovery you can get after last week. Don’t trust yourself to get up with just one alarm – it’s a 6 alarm minimum kind of week.
Art to make: DIY window gel decals
Leo
You feel like you are missing a piece of yourself, and with your schedule getting busier it will become harder to feel normal. Use this week as a ‘soul searching period’ but make sure you don’t fall down the ‘mid-life crisis’ hole and buy a motorbike.
Art to make: Vape smoke show
Virgo
This week your skills in the kitchen are good enough to impress Gordon Ramsay. Meal prep as much as you can, but make sure you aren’t going to be eating the same dinner for a whole week – that’s a one-way ticket to a midweek fruber.
Art to make: A birthday party mood board
Libra
Neptune is bringing the brain fog this week, making it hard to focus on what’s happening around you. Try to make everything as easy as possible for yourself by wearing the same outfit all week and sleeping on top of your bed so you don't have to waste time making it.
Art to make: Some cute flashcards
Scorpio
Saturn is fully saving your ass this week and making sure you don’t make a dick of yourself in every social situation. Make sure you're aware of what you're saying and to who – not everyone wants to know every tiny detail about your life.
Art to make: Latte art
Sagittarius
Mercury is in retrograde, making you think that things will turn out a lot better for you than they actually will. This week, make sure you are not pushing deadlines further back. Nothing good can come from six hours of couch rotting when you have seven assignments due this month.
Art to make: Tie dye a t-shirt
Capricorn
Emotions are high, Capricorn, and the best way to release them is through interpretive dance. Make sure to show everyone your dance moves. There is no inappropriate time to whip or nae nae if you feel like it – especially during lectures.
Art to make: TikTok dances