Cans
Otago student culture is founded upon the footsteps of dusty students trampling bits of broken glass. But it doesn’t have to be like this anymore.
Sure, maybe as a fresher at Whiteout it's funny standing in a sea of broken glass. But your car tires don’t say the same, nor do your crusty Adidas sambas after a lap around the block. If you’ve ever hosted, shards of glass covered in lukewarm Speight’s are sure as shit a lot less pleasant than a broken can to clean up.
We’ve all seen the ‘Don’t be a Dick’ campaign from OUSA – it shouldn’t need to be said that if you bottle someone (yes, even freshers) you’re a massive asshole. But cans have more benefits outside this argument.
Cans cool down quicker. Sometimes your heart just isn’t set on the walk-in of Leith Liquor and you’ve gotta cool it down yourselves. Other times your tiny flat fridge can’t fit your box because your flatmates haven’t chucked out their two-week old leftovers yet.
As a vessel, cans are more versatile. You can do more cool shit. You can’t shotgun a bottle, nor can you crush your empties, generating that borderline orgasmic crunching sound. Bottles don’t stack the same way as a can, meaning your collection of empties just doesn’t have the same neat aesthetic (plus there’s way more potential for can packaging compared to glass, you’re not just limited to that sad little square on the bottle).
If you’re a climate-conscious drinker, cans are better for the environment. While glass can be recycled, the sheer weight of transporting bottles around single handedly makes them worse for the planet than the humble aluminum can.
Being a can drinker means that your glass recycling bin may not have the same clinking sound on rubbish day but in all aspects of the drinking experience you’ve got the superior option. Plus you’re way less likely to get glass shards stuck in your hands.
Bottles
Don’t get me wrong, I hate broken glass just as much as the next person but I believe it’s time for people to mature and realise what the superior drink vessel is here.
For starters, have you ever picked up a can of your preferred beverage, cracked it open and thought: this tastes funny? Well that’s because it does. Aluminium can linings fuck your shit up. Glass is non-reactive which means it doesn’t leach chemicals and affect the flavour like some aluminium can linings do (which sometimes contain BPA).
While the can may cool down faster, the glass bottle stays cold for longer. I would much rather my crisp beverage stay colder for longer, seeing as most of the time you're whipping it straight out of the fridge it’s been in for ages anyway – whether that be your flat fridge or bought straight from the fridge at the piss shop. If you are carting them around with you, those puppies are gonna be nice and cold on your adventure.
While can users are trying to pop their can with their keys, only to then watch it explode and spray everywhere and then cut their mouths open on all the aluminium pieces flopping everywhere as they try to shotgun it (fuck all that lol), the bottle owners simply lift their bottle and spin it to create the sickest-looking vortex. All while having a clean and safe drinking experience.
Ever been to the piss shop and sought after your favourite drink in the can variety cause some bloke strictly asked for “cans only lol” at their dead-ass host? Well too fucking bad cause your cherished beverage doesn’t come in cans so you’ve got to settle for some gross ass Smirnoff Ices, unlucky nerd.
Let’s stop with the ‘cans only.’ If you are really that worried that your friends or yourself are gonna smash a bottle, get better friends and don’t be a twat. Everybody should be able to live the peak drinking experience.
Bottles for better.