Third-year Wellness Influencer Insists Her Bag is Ethically Sourced

Third-year Wellness Influencer Insists Her Bag is Ethically Sourced

“I’ve done research, I follow Shit You Should Care About”

Local third-year Food Science and Nutrition Student student Molly Edwards, a self-proclaimed fitness and wellness influencer, who preaches the benefits of clean-eating, early morning runs and therapeutic properties of Saunas on her Instagram account (@MolsHolistic) put a pause on her ‘daily diaries’ in order to get “completely fuck-eyed” on St Paddy’s Day.

Despite spending the last three months boycotting palm oil and other processed foods due to their unethical business practices, Molly remained adamant that the half-gram she purchased with the ‘girls’ was “ethically sourced because it came from a family business in Colombia or something like that.”

Speaking to Critical Tribune, Molly maintained that her bag of meth was, “100% MDMA, I don’t even need to test it! The guy I bought it from was really nice; he even gave us a discount!”

As of print, Molly was last seen ranting to her Instagram followers about lifestyle choices, “At the end of the day wellness is all about balance, and I haven’t done a Shein order in over six weeks."

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2025.
Posted 9:19pm Sunday 23rd March 2025 by Anderson Coomer.