Within the past months many readers, staff, University affiliates, and OUSA, have been excited about Critic turning 100 years old, as well as the party that would come along with it.
Editor Nina had been overheard saying there would be “super cute party games” like pass the parcel, pin the tail on Seymour, and “that weird one where you wear a scarf and eat chocolate with a knife and fork.” VC G-Rob was particularly ecstatic about the promise of food at the event: “I LOVE fairy bread.” The hopes of Grant and many others were vanquished, however, after a series of arguments that concluded with Critic staff declaring: “Well, you’re not invited to my birthday party.”
The first argument broke out at the recent Market Day when Culture Editor Jordan was selling Critic tote bags and requested Limp Bizkit's ‘Break Stuff’ to be played by Radio One, who were at the stall next to them. “I would have settled for 'Rollin' or ‘Even Flow’ by Pearl Jam,” said a disgruntled Jordan. After being denied by all members of staff, the invitation was revoked, resulting in a low morale within Radio One’s office. “We have been playing Jeff Buckley all day,” said Breakfast Show host Zac.
It has also been reported that many staff writers and contributors have yelled at lecturers, advisers, and group project partners that they would no longer be allowed to attend the event. “I got a B- instead of a B+ so they can suck it,” said staff writer Zoe. When reaching out to students about their lack of an invite many replied, “What’s Critic?” Critical Tribune can only conclude they are still hurt about missing out.
The party that is set to happen later this month is now expected to have an even lower turnout after disputes within Critic staff. Designer Evie reported that she was uninvited for “using that same font again” and “how she eats” (AKA spills EVERYTHING on her shirt). Evie expressed her disappointment saying, “Aw shucks.”