Yes
In case being death-stared by sober adults at a BYO isn’t humbling enough, we’ve all had to experience your drunk mates breaking into a screeching chorus of Happy Birthday in public. Crack up if it’s not your birthday, but when it’s finally your turn, you remember the embarrassment.
So what if it’s tradition? You shouldn’t have to be embarrassed and humiliated on your special day. Poking fun at your mates on their birthdays can still happen in other forms – that’s what embarrassing Instagram stories are for, right?
This isn’t to say that Happy Birthday should be banned. It has its place in the world; Mum and Dad singing it in the privacy of your home is a perfectly acceptable time to bust out the dreaded song. In the big scary outside world, a song with high notes that hard to hit should not be forced upon us as a society.
While some people think it's sweet, there's much better ways to show your mates some aroha on their birthday. Drawing unwanted attention in public isn’t cool. You’ll make the birthday person a lot happier if you just say a little something about how nice they are, trust me.
At the end of the day, Happy Birthday is a cliché. It rarely comes from a place of endearment – not since you were nine, at least. It's always that one mate, with a grin on their face, who lets the “H–” sound slip out their mouth. They know what they’re doing: creating embarrassment for someone who doesn’t deserve to feel that way.
And don’t even bring up the clapping and “hip-hip-hooray”s. As we approach our crusty 20s, the eardrums of innocent bystanders should not have to withstand a chorus of twenty plus claps. Let the birthday person be on a pedestal for a day, don’t drag them down with your out-of-tune and insincere singing.
No
If you think a group of people coming together to praise your birthday in the form of song is a form of harassment you need to grow the fuck up. “Ahhh I get embarrassed when my friends celebrate me!” Are you shitting me? God forbid they make you a cake and get you presents too. People like this always piss me off. It’s the only day a year people will sing for you. Be a little more grateful please.
You wanna know something else? Remember that elephant from the Sing movie that belted out Happy Birthday and subsequently got memed by the internet? I thought that scene was awesome and screw all of you for making fun of my girl. I would be honoured if someone who could actually sing pulled up to my birthday and put in the effort to slay out a “Happy Birthday to you” rather than the same monotonous tone groups usually sing in. What better gift than the gift of song?
I’ve always been the biggest birthday advocate. It’s easy to care less about birthdays at our age – unless you’re turning 21 no one really gives a shit. But I do, I give a shit. More people should care about it. It’s the day you were born! Most people who could ever exist will never exist. You’re more likely to win the lottery nine times than be born a human being, equating to your chances being roughly 1 in 400 trillion. How gangster is that? Even more, how gangster is it that we have a song for it? So yes, it’s worth singing about. Happy birthday to us all.