Columns

I guess I should explain the premise of this column. John and I, (John is away skuxing overseas this week) go to clubs and try to have enlightening cultural experiences, while at the same time rating them on their ‘skuxability’. Also, John and I both vary on the Kinsley scale (we are both at least bi-curious), thus all bases are (at least kind of) covered.

The Editor suggested we check out Clubs day for our first column. Walking into Clubs and Socs I was barraged by a plethora of bodies, loud music and cheesy banners, including being incessantly accosted by Jamba from $3 lunch. It was basically a foreign hawker market, and I left feeling only mildly violated. I saw clubs I didn’t know existed, like Renaissance sword fighting and Role-playing (not as sexual as it sounds), and some rugby looking guys (don’t know what club, too busy looking at their arms). There were clubs that get drunk (apparently) like debating and the Indian Society, and those that don’t, for some reason the International Socialists, and more obviously Student Life.

There were some timid looking lit club maidens, who probably don’t skux much (but probably do flick the bean to Bronte), while others (like the Young Nats) who would most likely flog their logs to the enormous poster of Dear Leader John Key hanging on the wall behind their stall. Such a trustworthy face.

The roleplayers were vaguely interesting, although the concept of visiting World of Warcraft reminds me of some kind of extremely weird religious experience. Though to their credit the role players at least choose to merely visit a fantasy world, rather than actually live in one. Still, the fact that it related to WOW in any way significantly narrowed my already lacklustre hope of satisfying any skux cravings.

In short, it was a microcosm of the world: Everyone really wants to sell you shit and they’re really into their own lives. But still, everyone being so into their respective passions/obsessions was kind of cool. Definitely more clubs than skux but I did see a smattering of potential in the room. And who knows, maybe the boys from WOW will end up rocking our world. But probably not.

- Olivia