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Mama - how do you stay so fabulous? What’s your secret? – Grrrrl Thursday

Oh Grrrrrrrl! There is no secret, Mama is an open book. Staying fabulous is more of an art than a science. For me it involves a lot of perfume. Seriously. Perfume lifts a grrrl up. And with perfume, more is always more.

Regarding my lifestyle, I gave up going to war on my fat body not so long ago. I limit the amount of time I spend with people who like talking about their war with fatness, cause it both makes me sad and is terribly dull. I love cheese, and I attribute 30% of my fabulosity to cheese alone. Indeed, if I have a child I shall call them Blue. I adore exercise, but because “exercise” is such an ugly word I call it movement. Movement connects me to my body and makes me feel good. Movement is not about trying to lose weight; movement is about movement. I try to stay away from liquor. It is a nasty, addictive poison, and turns a lady into a bore. All the money I save on not buying liquor goes directly into expanding my facemask and lip balm collections.

As for style, whenever I am leaving for the day I always take off one piece of jewellery and then put on four more. Excess = success. I sometimes dress in a way that makes me feel like I am nourishing my inner diva. Other times I dress to survive a hostile world. Royal blue is my colour, and I wear it often. I endeavour not to judge the aesthetic orientations of others, cause a lady knows what’s best for herself. I try to find a hairdresser who treats me like a queen. Indeed, I seek royal treatment from all those who look after me. I try to extend the same courtesy back to them.

On the home front, used coffee grounds are great for exfoliating your hands, just make sure to take off all your rings first. Coconut oil applied at night makes skin clear and fresh, and is also good as a mouthwash. If you don’t already know how, I recommend getting someone to show you how to contour. If I can give you any advice about cleaning, it would be to polish your chrome taps. Nothing says kitchen fabulous like shiny chrome.