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It was a question of defining importance. For decades, the debate raged. What was the worst film of all time? The contenders came from far and wide – Plan 9 From Outer Space, Robot Monster, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Troll 2, Zombie! vs. Mardi Gras, Howard the Duck, Battlefield Earth. With their wooden acting, clichéd scripts and wonky designs, they did battle. Critics and film buffs turned on each other; families were torn apart; strife was everywhere.

Then, in 2003, The Room emerged, blinking, slurring its words, saying “oh hi” to victory as it eviscerated all pretenders, chopping each mercilessly down with a football thrown from point-blank range. Transfixed audiences, united in horror and schadenfreude, squirming through horrifically awkward sex scenes, sides aching with mirth, spoke with one voice. Enough with this meaningless bickering, they said, for we have just seen the worst thing ever caught on camera. Nothing can surpass the sheer, all-round ineptitude of what just unfolded. Possibly nothing ever will. Peace broke out.

So-bad-they’re-good films have traditionally been a niche pursuit. Like a stingy chocolate chip biscuit, rare moments of unbelievable, laugh-out-loud cinematic ineptitude are scattered seductively through a turgid backdrop of doughy incompetence. The bad-film enthusiast had to work for his kicks. But Tommy Wiseau, The Room’s cheerfully narcissistic producer, director, writer, star and publicist, gave the world a deluxe, marshmallow Tim-Tam of a stinker, every scene laced with sweet hilarity, a tasty treat for all to enjoy. This noisome Nirvana took the underground bad-film movement and turned it pop, searing it into the public consciousness, a visceral portrait of the nadir of human talent.

If you haven’t seen The Room, you are missing out on a vital artefact of modern Western civilisation. Your life will have a hole in it, a hole in the shape of a truly bizarre vanity project with such ridiculous characters, godawful acting, and random, nonsensical dialogue (anyway, how’s your sex life?) that it must truly be seen to be believed.

Watch The Room. You owe it to yourself.