Columns

Those of you who aren’t studying some faggy arts degree like philosophy probably had exams before the mid-year break. In the build-up to those exams, you might have undergone what is medically referred to as “shitting bricks.” The anxiety, the stress, the fear – they’re all natural responses to the three-hour torture sessions we use to evaluate our academic worth, and it’s a given that every single person reading this has experienced that panic at some point. Next week, I want to talk about this panic when it’s unsolicited: the nasty phenomenon known as panic attacks. This week, however, I want to talk about the first sentence in this column, specifically the word “faggy.”

Be honest: did you even register that word when you read it? Did you take offence? Did you throw down the column in outrage? Probably not that last one at least, seeing as you’re clearly still reading …

There’s a psychological effect known as “minority stress” that pretty much defines itself. It’s the stress and mental impact associated with going against the grain in society, and rears its head in relation to gender, ethnicity, race, disability, filthy ginger-ness … a whole range of things. I’m going to spend this week looking at sexuality stress though, because, on the whole, we’re pretty bad at dealing with dem queermosexuals.

Using a 600-word column to try and cover all of sexuality would be like trying lube-less anal with a tense virgin: a bloody mess that nobody is going to walk away from happy. Therefore, I’m gonna stick mainly to the psychological impact of growing up gay, with the understanding that the gender and sexuality rabbit holes go far deeper than that.

Like being north of the Wall when winter’s coming, it’s a dark and scary place outside of the heteronormative box. Compared to those on the inside, you’re 2.47 times more likely to commit suicide (4.28 times when considering only gay and bisexual men) and 1.5 times more likely to suffer from depression or anxiety or have an alcohol or drug dependence.

Despite the number of times I’ve been told I’m “thinking with my dick,” the brain is not actually housed in your cock, and isn’t actually affected by the physical mechanics of bedroom activities. It’s the way we consciously and subconsciously treat minorities that leads to these stress and mental health effects.

To answer one question: yes, there would have been people who took offence to the word “faggy.” But they’re likely to be queer themselves or have some connection to the queer community. Without that conscious link, it’s so easy to be fine with hearing the words “that’s so gay,” or to find two guys kissing disgusting, or strange, or a noteworthy novelty. Which cover of Critic did you get last week? Guy-girl, or guy-guy? Which cover do you think caused more discussion, more snide comments, more jokes?

Homosexuality is somewhat different to most of the other minority stress causes because it’s not in your face unless you’re on your knees. If you make an off-colour black joke, then you’re pretty quickly able to tell if any black people were around to hear it. Casually using words like homo, queer-cunt, faggot or “that’s so gay,” on the other hand, makes it much harder to tell if you’ve just made somebody nearby feel like arse (in the bad way).

I’m not saying go march down Castle St with a leather bear and a rainbow flag. I’m just saying to try consciously noting how many times you, or others, make society a little bit less accepting of sexual minorities. In order to eliminate minority stress, the majority have to do the work and start changing their behaviours and the behaviours of those around them.