Columns

"No bad air days: ‘you have to have a lot of trust’"

The article is about a circus troupe visiting Dunedin. We see what you did there.

“Snowbroads build slopes confidence”

To be fair, the name of the event is “Burton Snowbroads ski and snowboard freestyle camp,” but we know the ODT just jumped at the opportunity to print blatant misogyny as a headline. And what a cliché that ensued! “Breakfast and bubbles broke the ice on Saturday morning …” Something really important came up before we could read any further, but Critic is sure it was a literary gem.

And this week in “community notices posing as news stories”:

“Open day at tennis club on Saturday”

Just in case you were confused what pillowcases are used for:

“Pillow cases turned into dream bags”

Lol, JK. The article is actually talking about a group of 8-year-olds turning pillowcases into reusable shopping bags. Crafty.

“String of fat fires prompts warning”

We honestly thought they had misspelled “phat” and were talking about Castle Street rediscovering its stride. But it turned out to be something boring like a whole shitload of restaurant fires in Queenstown and “inappropriate extinguishers.”