Good try with the cutsie title, ODT. What this article is really about is the systematic murder of 769 rabbits in the “Great Easter Bunny Hunt.” Back in my day, the Easter Bunny hunt entailed searching for chocolate eggs ... times have
apparently changed.
The ODT appears to be running out of news ... reporting on things that aren’t actually happening.
Down with the whiney American accent! Disabled New Zealanders are rightly demanding a Kiwi-accented synthetic voice to read their emails, electronic books and texts, and to speak for them. Think audio books or Stephen Hawking – but with an authentic Kiwi twist. We took the liberty of producing a wee exemplar to give you an idea:
Dear Robert,
How are you? I’m doing fine, as is the wife. Young Susie’s finished college and is moving to Australia next week, we’ll sure miss having her around! All is well with the farm, though we’ve been having some heavy rain.
We should catch up for a drink sometime soon, though I don’t think John will be able to make it.
Best, Bruce
But read out in a kiwi synthetic voice it’s much livelier!
G’day, Robbo!
How the bloody hell are ya!? Me and the missus are flamin’ great and the young nipper Susie’s buggering off over the ditch nek week. Bloody parasite. The farm is a fucking shambles, mate, I tell ya. The ewes are lambing left, right and centre and, ‘struth, it’s been pissing down for weeks!
Stuff it, let’s head down to the local for a quart or six tomorrah night, but fuck off am I bringing that dick Jono and his mates this time.
On ya, Bob.
Rightoh, hurrah!
Bruce