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“BUT I BUY FREE-RANGE! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU DIRTY STINKING HIPPY!”

At some point in the near future, you may well find yourself saying this to some random in New World. He may or may not be wearing hemp pants. With the chia seeds and quinoa in his basket, he peers dubiously at the “free-range” eggs in your own. But it’s ok. You aren’t supporting a cruel industry. You are buying free-range eggs, and that means they came from happy hens, “free to roam in the natural shelter of trees.” Right?

Unfortunately, no.

Consumer concern at the appalling living conditions of cage egg-producing hens has lead many cafes and restaurants to start using free-range products (both eggs and meat). Even the South Island’s McDonald’s have made the switch from battery eggs. While this is indeed a kinder alternative to factory farmed, in reality there isn’t the enormous disparity in welfare standards that most people envisage.
Ultimately, the term “free-range” has no legally sanctioned meaning in New Zealand. There are no legal standards for how much outside space a free-range hen must have, the size of flocks or the provision of grassy paddocks. According to SPCA chief executive Robyn McDonald, many free-range hens are in barns all their lives, eating only grain.

Under current law, free-range farmers may supplement their flocks with hens that have spent their life in battery cages. And free-range chicks are bought from battery producers. Remember that the male chicks are killed when they are just a day old because they have no value as layers. And Woodlands, the biggest free-range brand, is owned by cage producer Mainland. This is another huge problem; even if you have no intention to do so, you are supporting the cage egg industry when you buy free-range eggs.

Animal welfare campaigner Dr Michael Morris said feather-pecking, cannibalism and disease outbreaks are the biggest welfare problems on free-range farms. He said faced with crowded conditions, some farmers clip the birds’ beaks to stop them hurting one another. And, no, they don’t get anaesthetic. This isn’t what we imagine when we pay up to three times as much money for “free-range” eggs.
But, we have to trust the SPCA, right? Even if we don’t trust business giants, most of us feel consoled when purchasing the eggs with “SPCA Approved” stamped on them. However, even the 30 per cent of free-range farmers who hold this qualification (meaning that their farms are audited and approved by SPCA inspectors) are allowed to clip their hens’ beaks.

I know that a lot of Critic readers (myself included) love to bake. Fortunately, there are a number of cheap, healthy and delicious substitutes for eggs to help bind it together. I find that Orgran’s No Egg is particularly good in cake mixes. If you don’t want to go out and buy stuff, 1/3 of a cup of mashed banana will have the same effect. Or if you happen to have it, a tablespoon of flaxseed.