Andy
The minute I heard that my flatmate had signed me up for Critic’s blind date I knew that this could be my one real opportunity – the opportunity I had been waiting for since my arrival in Dunedin. It was going to be the night that I sunk my dick for the first time. It was high time that I retired my Kleenex and hand lotion for good to delve deep into a brand new world of passion, sensuality and bodily fluids. To be honest the concept both frightened and excited me.As the night came about, however, the confidence I felt before was gone and had to be renewed with the help of my good friend vodka. I was waiting at the bar for five minutes before my date arrived, and my lord was it worth the wait. She was the kind of girl that earns two syllable dayums from men on the street. I greeted her while awkwardly nursing my half chub and the date began. It went well. Real well. Formalities were exchanged and food and drinks were ordered and consumed. The laws of attraction proved to be in full swing as the night unfolded. Truth and dare got heated as we made out above the food platter and promises of meeting in the bathroom were made. When that fateful moment arrived I was confident that tonight was going to be the night. I was not disappointed as I engaged in my first sexual experience by receiving a blowjob in the bathrooms. Just as romantic and classy as I’d imagined it. We then departed Di Lusso and her flatmate gave us a ride back to hers. We very quickly ended up with our naked bodies pressed together in a hot tangle of limbs. Perhaps it was natural talent or my extensive viewing of “educational videos” but I found I knew what I was doing as the last strand of my innocence was plucked from me like a petal from a flower. I think I’m in love. Thank you Critic and Di Lusso! Absolute legends.
Trish
Upon arriving at Di Lusso I realised something very important. I should have drunk the second wine bottle. It had been right in front of me not ten minutes ago and would have made me more confident with what I was approaching towards.Sitting at the bar, with physical features that could match the Greek gods’, the barman smiled at me and moved aside, showing a guy that didn’t quite match the godly standards of the barman, but who wasn’t the worst I had seen in Dunedin. Introducing himself with a name only angels could have created, my heavenly date threw me onto the bar stool and set the mood for the rest of the night.
He was second year gender studies, with the only goal to treat a woman right by landing his dick inside of her in the name of love. To this, I had no problem. I was in the mood to make a Critic date work in all the right ways. So when we brought up truth or dare, making out with him over the platter of food seemed a good way to start. However, it was time to step it up a notch.
There’s something exciting about being the one to lead your date into the bathroom, but it’s more exciting when he proves to be genetically gifted. With a few more calories than I had originally planned in my daily diet, it was time to blow the joint. A text to a friend, a hair-raising ride home, I achieved having my date naked on my bed and in control. With more energy and enthusiasm than your generic male student, his size and skill made me believe in love and that the infamous “O” wasn’t so hard to find. I will definitely be saving this one to my contacts.
Shout out to Critic for making the last of the winter days turn into something hotter – you da best.