Christian
A charming, puppy-loving, milkshake-drinking Dunners guy. He’s got the chat, the moves, but just needs the girl.
The night started out with the lads setting a concrete limit of no more than four Diesels. I then had a couple of lovely ladies critique my outfit, thus ensuring maximum levels of dapper. With the admin out of the way, for better or worse it was go time.
I arrived fashionably early so as to come on as keen as possible, because if there’s anything I’ve learnt, the ladies love a guy who tries.
After a smooth introduction, we started ordering drinks, and it soon became evident that she’d come in faiiiirly hot, so I selflessly took up the challenge of punishing the bar tab. After dinner, I had my chauffeur come to run us back to the party underway at my place. Details get fuzzy here, but I’m fairly sure conversation held up well between both date and party patrons.
Once she’d laid eyes on both our glorious outdoor entertainment, including a spa area and the skilfully placed chocolate-lab puppy, things were looking hopeful for this young punter. The tour came to a timely end in the most important room of the house (where the magic happens #mtvcribs).
After chilling in my room with a couple more bevvies on the couch, I thought it was time to make “the move”. Fair to say, preparation paid dividends, because shit got hot and heavy quickly. She made a dart to lock the door, whereupon I employed a textbook Fifty Shades lift and throw to the bed. There was some top-notch slap and tickle and some dry-humping so intense it was basically kindling. After cooling down and catching my breath, we rounded things off with a romantic front-door pash. A good end to my first-ever blind date: cool chick, cheers to Critic for the hookup and Di Lusso for the feed.
Anastasia
A single second year searching for love. She sometimes skips wearing a bra whilst on a mission to find the love of her life.
Being the token single flatmate and a few drinks down, I jumped at the chance to go on a Critic blind date. The enthusiasm was gone by the next day, but I couldn’t turn down free food and alcohol with a chance to meet my potential soul mate. I downed some beverages beforehand and went into my night feeling a bit more cut than was intended.
On arrival I walked in to meet my date with no disappointment — he introduced himself immediately, making it a lot less awkward than anticipated. Drinks started straight away, with me happy to stick to wine rather than heading for the bitch drinks and a potential state. Conversation flowed nicely and we discussed mutuals, with me making my first fuckup and mixing up a name — sorry, man, I still have no idea who your flatmate is? The bar tab gradually ran out, and I was happy to give my date the larger share of the drinks. The night continued to me getting a tour of his flat and finding out he had a spa pool, making me regret not wearing a bra.
We chilled in his room for a bit, but the only thing he got was a cheeky pash. I left to continue my night on Castle Street, but not without exchanging numbers with him.
I ended the night with a bit of spoonage but, whoops, it wasn’t with my Di Lusso date. Cheers Critic for a good night out. The quest to meet the love of my life continues.