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T his is a photo of just a fraction of the tissues required for our cover photo shoot in Castle lecture theatre — a toilet-roll wedding dress perfectly brings together this issue’s toilets review and wedding feature.

We even reused most of the tissues. On my nose. I have a cold, and when I have a cold, everyone needs to know about it.

We also used them in the office this week when we said goodbye to our fish friend, Gandalf the Gold Bastard. Aside from murdering a snail late last year, he’s been a good fish. He started sinking to the bottom of the tank throughout February. Apparently this means the fish is constipated and can be helped by feeding the fish peas. We had no peas. And last Wednesday, it passed away. Nothing wakes you up like walking in on your fish floating on the surface.

Back to the cold: I’m not one for making a fuss. Except for when I have ebola/flu/a cold.

For all you freshers out there, if Fresher Flu hasn’t caught you already, get prepared, for it will catch up with you eventually.

Second-years, you’ll probably get something too for choosing a crappy, damp flat. That $150/week flat on Castle was a silly decision.

Third-years, you’ll catch something too as you’re super cool with your jandals and shorts in winter. That $70/week flat past the Botans wasn’t worth it either.

Fourth-years and postgrads are starting to figure out how damn cold it is and that another year of snivels isn’t worth showing a bit of leg for. You might be safe this year.

Unless you’re me, and decide to live with eight other people and invite couch surfers every other weekend. There is no way of escaping the germs.

I considered taking vitamin C and echinacea with the hope of speeding things along. But then I thought, naaa. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat homeopathic shit.

Just last week, the UK’s National Health and Medical Research Council (NHMRC) released their views on homeopathy after the first thorough review of 225 research papers on the practice.

“Based on the assessment of the evidence of effectiveness of homeopathy, NHMRC concludes that there are no health conditions for which there is reliable evidence that homeopathy is effective.”

“People who choose homeopathy may put their health at risk if they reject or delay treatments for which there is good evidence for safety and effectiveness.”

As much as I’d like to talk about the likelihood that research like this drives up the sales of the big pharmaceutical companies, instead, my congested self is going to continue to inhale Codral, Lemsip and Ibubrofen, and force my flatmates to feel sorry for me as I heal.

And I’m probably still going to take vitamin C and echinacea, because if it might work, then hope will keep me going through these tissues. Or issues? Or tissues?