Dear Ethel,
I’ve always viewed myself as a straight guy. I’ve had one serious relationship with a girl and a few casual hook-ups. But last weekend I had a few beers with the boys then headed into town.
I somehow ended up at a random house party, where I meet this dude who was funny as hell.
Long story short he gave me blow job and I liked it!!! Now I’m like, WTF, who am I, what I am? Am I gay now? I’m freaking out a little Ethel, what do I do?
From
I kissed a boy and I liked it...
Ethel says
The first step is to take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Repeat twice more. Ok good.
Yes, you might be gay or maybe bisexual, perhaps just a little heteroflexible. No one can tell you how to identify except yourself! Sexual orientation is a spectrum and can be fluid, meaning you can move along that spectrum at various points in your life. It’s good to explore your sexual and romantic attractions and figure out who and what you like, and some alcohol free exploring is good too.
Talking about your experience can feel daunting but it can help! Do you have a friend who is gay, bisexual or pansexual you could talk to? If not, perhaps a really good mate you trust to be confidential? Pop into the OUSA Student Support Centre and have a chat with their friendly Queer Support Coordinator. Queer Support has a resource library full of interesting books and dvds about sexuality, sex and gender diversity. You could also call Outline: 0800 688 5463. Immerse yourself in a bit of LGBT culture online by checking out some films, Youtubers, gay forums or online magazines.
Most importantly, take your time and be kind to yourself!
Hyde says
Gender norms swirling in a sexuality storm are going to lead to some HARD OUT internalised and externalised problems. PROBLEMS are to be AVOIDED. Fucking JUDGEMENT OF SELF AND OTHERS CAUSES MAELSTROMS OF HATESTROMS. Be cool with yourfuckingself, like you’re cool with yourlaughingself. Alternatively if you want to become a sick and miserable Fuckmunster then SUPRESS the TRUE SELF and make up a SOCIAL FRONT which conforms to the PATRIARCHAL, EURO-CENTRIC NORMS this country pays hard earned soul tax to at the expense of FREE EXPRESSION AND CELEBRATION OF DIVERSITY. For Fuck’s Sake.
Ethel and Hyde is brought to you by the Student Support Centre. They advise you to take Ethel’s advice. Send your questions to: ethelandhyde@ousa.org.nz