The Couplands (Coop-Lands, not Cope-Lands you fucking cretin) 99c pie is a student’s lifeline. It is the final swipe on tinder before you run out, the eyeroll that the lecturer gives you while you plead your shitty case for another week’s extension on your assignment, the IV drip connected to your arm after blacking out. The 99c pie is there when you look at your bank account and have exactly 40 cents to your name, but you know there is a dollar coin down the back of the couch. It is fulfilling, packed full with one whole pea (and a bit of carrot if you’re lucky) and will get you through the final meal before StudyLink comes through the next day.
Debates have raged throughout the millennia on how to cook the Couplands mince and vege pie; oven vs microwave is the greatest argument since the flag referendum in 2015 (RIP Red Peak). The result is much the same: it doesn’t matter and whatever way you cook it, it will still be well below average.
The casing is a shortcrust bottom to hold the mainly mince filling, yet it is topped with a small slither of puff pastry. The mince filling contains enough calories to see you through the study break that will last “only 20 minutes”. The size of the pie is on the conservative side, but it’s a good amount of tuck for the price one pays.
Recommended cooking: if frozen, microwave for 3 minutes followed by 10 minutes in the oven to make the pastry nice and crispy.
Taste Rating: It costs 99 cents. There’s not a lot you can expect there.
Pairs well with: anything you can steal from your flatmates without them noticing, phantom drinks left after a party.
Available from: Couplands (duh).