“Up a bit, no, too high. Fuck it, I’ll put it in myself then,” a Dunedin man’s partner was overheard loudly exclaiming during one of their bi-monthly hanky-panky sessions.
The man, whose meaty highlighter reportedly shrunk to a chewed pencil stub with shame, told the Critical Tribune that he’s trying really hard. “Why is it so hard to find? I swear it’s like a maze down there, why can’t it just be like a mouth that opens up for your dick, why does it have to be fucking Aladdin's cave?”
The man’s partner told the Tribune that one day, in the distant future, she hopes to have a conversation with him about the location of the clitoris.