Columns

I have a confession to make. For weeks now, I have been searching for The Perfect Dish. Something spicy, salty, fresh and, above all, interesting. My God, the hunt has been long. After consuming campus sushi daily, I turned to this week's Bone Apple Teeth forlorn, having barely touched a stove all week. “I will make the perfect depression food,” I said, depressed. Cheesy noodles (yes, sad but true) were on the menu. But inspiration, or divine intervention, struck. The following recipe is kind of a low-maintenance, white-washed Khao Soi, using the Mi Goreng noodles that you and I so fondly use on a daily basis. What followed was what can only be described as a certified miracle; I found what I had spent so long searching for. This dish is spicy without being too spicy, and surprisingly sweet and sour. My flatmates have boyfriends, clean bedrooms, good study habits. I have the perfect dish. In the end, we are all happy.

Serves 2

Ingredients

1. 3 hearty pinches of lemongrass power (or use real lemongrass if you’re fancy)
2. 2 slices of ginger/2 tsp of jarred ginger
3. Half a red onion, diced
4. Plenty of fried shallots, to top
5. 1 spring onion, chopped
6. 2 packets of spicy Mi Goreng
7. 100g of pork mince
8. A cube of chicken stock (mixed with water as per instructions on the box)
9. Half a lemon
10. 200ml coconut milk
11. 1tsp of sugar

Optional

• Chilli soya bean oil (found in the international aisle)
• Toasted peanuts, roughly chopped

Method

1. In a hot, oiled frying pan, place the chilli oil, chopped onion, ginger, lemongrass and noodle seasoning. Stir for about 2-3 minutes.
2. Add pork, stirring until browned. 
3. Now add coconut milk and chicken stock, bringing to a simmer.
4. Put the kettle on to boil water for noodles.
5. After 3-5 minutes, add sugar, salt, pepper and lemon. Taste as you go in order to get to your seasoning preferences (I know some of y’all are salt freaks). Reduce to low heat.
6. Meanwhile, cook your noodles separately in the boiling water.
7. Drain noods, place into bowls and pour broth around them (if you put actual ginger and lemongrass in, make sure to remove before pouring).
8. Sprinkle generously with fried shallots and spring onion, peanuts if you so desire.  Enjoy.
9. Have an existential crisis about how good this meal is, don’t stop thinking about it.