Aquarius
Jan 20 - Feb 18
Your mental stability might scare you at the moment. But it’s okay, you can’t be unhinged forever. It’s all part of the character development.
Beverage of the week: cheap bottle of sav
Pisces
Feb 19 - Mar 20
Romanticise every silly little moment of your silly little life because you’re a silly little sentimental water sign.
Beverage of the week: vodka soda with a hint of lime
Aries
Mar 21 - Apr 19
Heading into the spring season, things are looking cruisy and chill for you. Crack open a cold one and feel the vibes.
Beverage of the week: Raspberry Cruisers
Taurus
Apr 20 - May 20
Communication may be muddley for the next couple of weeks. Ensure you are being clear and concise to avoid misunderstandings in the future.
Beverage of the week: Emerson’s Pilsner
Gemini
May 21 - Jun 20
Get a root, it’ll do wonders for you. Just remember to use protection and don’t get attached.
Beverage of the week: Long Whites
Cancer
Jun 21 - July 22
Get out and explore a little more. Nature will make you feel more balanced, and will do wonders for the ol’ noggin.
Beverage of the week: Rosè
Leo
July - Aug 22
Leo men, what’s up with y’all? Who made you like that?
Beverage of the week: Fizzliss RTDs
Virgo
Aug 23 - Sep 22
You have just gone through a great period of healing and reflection. It’s time to move onwards and upwards and soldier into the future. Celebrate with a box and some DnB.
Beverage of the week: Woodstock Bourbon and Cola
Libra
Sep 23 - Oct 22
Your social media activism does nothing. Please stop spamming everyone’s feeds, you don’t have to be woke all the time.
Beverage of the week: Pinot Noir, the good kind
Scorpio
Oct 23 - Nov 21
Procrastination isn’t a personality trait. Stop putting off work and study, it will just make your life worse.
Beverage of the week: Jagerbomb
Sagittarius
Nov 22 - Dec 21
It’s time to do something funky. Drop off the face of the earth for six months, pierce every part of your body, get a tramp stamp. Stick it to the man. Godspeed, my friend.
Beverage of the week: grapefruit seltzers
Capricorn
Dec 22 - Jan 19
What’s it like? Being grounded and rational? Is it a nice experience?
Beverage of the week: homemade fresh piña coladas