A fragile peace between first- and second-years has collapsed amidst accusations of aggression on both sides. Relations between the two groups frayed after mass movements of freshers were detected around the traditionally second-year strongholds of Castle Street and Forth Street. Concerns about spiralling tensions led to an emergency summit being called on neutral territory: Great King Street McDonald’s.
“What we see here is nothing less than a war criminal,” thundered fresher representative Troy, of Arana’s debating team. “Our people have been struck with eggs, toilet paper and called hurtful slurs,” he said, choking back tears. Second-year Jock rejected those allegations, saying “They’ve invaded our parties, they’ve invaded our flats, they’ve invaded our beezys - what do you expect us to do if not defend ourselves?” He then chanted “Fuck Arana” repeatedly, causing a fistfight to break out on the restaurant floor.
At press time, with war breaking out, half of the freshers’ army ran away after finding out how many med students were fighting for the second-years.