Sometimes failure can lead people to their true calling, as recently discovered by an entrepreneur who lost her passion for first year Health Sci after one failed progress test. Now pursuing a Business degree, Critic became aware of Annie after several tearful complaints from Auckland HSFY students fresh from Epsom, claiming they had paid $1,000 for textbooks that promised to have secret tips and tricks guaranteed to land them that coveted spot in Med and their parents' love. Unfortunately, neither Medical School nor your father’s approval have cheat codes.
“I really just wanted to capitalise on those twitchy little Auckland fuckers with money to spend. What are they gonna do, go to the Proctor about how they wasted their money on a cheating tool that was fake? It’s the perfect crime.” Of course, Critic would never endorse cheating, but you have to acknowledge there’s a method to Annie’s madness. “I’ve made, uh, like 20K at this point? I had to spend $5 on a secondhand lab coat to wear when the little freshies come and pick the books up, that was an expense.”
But where is Annie getting the textbooks? Those things are more costly than that final cocktail when you still have a twenty minute walk home. “See, that’s where the rest of the money goes. I buy them retail, which really takes a chunk out of the profit. In fact, there is very little real profit. I think I’ve made something like…$90? But hey, that’s still a few boxes, or a few pairs of hi-vis if I wanted to shift this scheme into the physical sciences. I hear geologists are real suckers.”