Acoustic adjective: To wank without the use of sex toys, objects, or lubricant. Ex: “I forgot to charge my Satisfyer so I had to go acoustic last night.” Synonyms: Acapella, cavemanning.
Analogue: adjective. Hand-rolled cigarettes, as opposed to pre-rolled.
Battler: noun. Someone who seems to be permanently McFucking Going Through It.
Beaks/beec adjective: Short for ‘could be keen’ or ‘cbk’. The much rarer inverse of ‘ceebs’.
Beezyhorn: noun. A girl or woman of a certain calibre. Derived from ‘beezy’ (bitch) and ‘horn’ (female).
Boats: noun. Abbreviation for ‘botans’, short for “Botanical Gardens”. You know, for when you’re too good to say the extra fucking syllable.
Breathosphere: noun. The metaphysical world of breathas and their activities. Ex: “My breatherness may be in remission, but I still have connections in the breathosphere.”
Bundy: adjective. Low quality. See also: ‘dusty’, ‘bogan’.
Cattle: noun. Frequenters of Catacombs (Cats).
Castle mullet: noun. The kind of hairstyle that was probably cut by two inebriated men, at least one of whom is called something like Liam or Dylan, with three thumbs and one brain cell between them. Ex: “If it wasn’t for the castle mullet, that guy would be kinda fit.”
Ceebs: contraction. Pronunciation of “CBF”, which itself is an abbreviation of “Can’t be Fucked”. Ex: “Ceebs saying ‘C-B-F’, so I just shortened it even further.”
Coffin: noun. An eighteen pack of RTDs. Must be significantly more than a standard pack of ten (a box). Ex: “What the fuck are you doing with a coffin on a Tuesday, cunt.”
Dawg, like a: expression. To be feral, apeshit, manic, with the subtext of also being at least a little bit horny.
Fast: adj. Something with the aesthetic of bright, electric colours and/or a streamlined shape. Like how painting flames on a car makes it go faster. Ex: “Do I give myself frosted tips? Could be kinda fast.”
Fang: verb. Steal, gank, skuxx. Ex: “Nah can I fang a dart off you bro?”
Geared up: adj. On the gear; on MDMA.
Glizz: verb. To chug a drink, to neck or throat something with fearsome tenacity. From US slang for cock/hotdog.
Graft: verb. To flirt with someone. Similar to sifting (see below) but is more specific, and with higher effort involved. Not usually reciprocal.
Grouse: adj. Neat, tidy.
Grounder: noun. Someone not from your immediate friend group, nor immediately connected to your group. Ex: “Let’s find some grounder party to go sift at.”
Hallensteins: adj. Basic male shit. Ex: “I can’t believe he tagged three other girls in a LadBible post. That’s some Hallensteins shit for sure.”
Hogged up: Horny. Like, really horny.
Hoon: verb. To have a drag of a vape, or to crave nicotine. Also a noun for vape. Widely spread across the country, and can also mean to move hurriedly, or as an insult for someone. Ex: “Oi, can I have a hoon of your vape?”; “Oi, can I have a vape of your hoon?” (Note: in theory “hoon” could be used in both places within a sentence, however if you do this you’re kinda fucked).
Leshstop: idk. The inverse of ‘Leshgo’.
Mucks: adj. Unattractive, plain. The opposite of ‘fit’.
Nudie, pull a: noun. To go on a naked run, usually as a drinking game punishment, or a particularly unfortunate morning.
Oosh: expression. An exclamation of approval or respect, in response. Ex: “Just found a full pack of durries on the floor!” “Oooosh!”
Open home: noun. A flat with broken windows and/or doors.
Peng: adj. Cool, good. From Northerner Br*tish slang.
Psspss: noise. The sound one makes when trying to summon a vape from someone’s hand. Usually accompanied by a grabbing gesture.
Rark, on the: noun. To get shit-stirringly wasted.
Rhino: verb. To open a can by smashing it on one’s forehead. Hint: shake the fuck out of it first. See also: rhino wrestling, when two people fight to rhino a can.
Scummers: noun. The small blocks of flats that are part of a hall of residence.
Skarnhoss: prop. A friendly, informal greeting. From ‘’skaarn’ (“What’s going on?”) and ‘hoss’ (short for “horse”).
Shag and bag: noun. A casual hookup, except one person has a secret crush on the other, with the goal of eventually dating. Like a ‘tap and gap’ but opposite.
Sheather: noun. The exact female equivalent of a breatha; a girl who’s just as wounding as the lads.
Sift: verb. To hit on someone, to try to pick someone up. Often no one in particular, with seedy connotations.
Slash: noun. A piss. Ex: “I gotta take a slash.”
Spincycle: noun. Vape.
Squiz: noun, verb. To look closely at something, to have a geez.
Susty: adj. Sustainable.
Tacky: noun, verb. Short for ‘tactical’. Usually refers to a tactical vom, but a tacky wank is not unheard of either.
Typewriter: noun. Your jaw when you’re high on gear. From the side-to-side chewing or swinging motion. Ex: “Fuck me, that lad’s jaw is on full typewriter!”
Vulture: verb. To vomit while on the move without stopping, usually in a gutter. Ex: “Yoza, sorry I’m late, had to vulture on the way here.”
Wounder: noun. Munter, degenerate. Breatha shit.
Zung: verb. To finish a KFC Zinger box. Ex: “Oi cunt, give us a bite of your burger.” “Nah, fuck off, it’s been zung.”