Culture

Director: David Gordon Green, (3/5).

Despite the terrible reviews this film received, I convinced myself to go and see Your Highness for the mere purpose of seeing Natalie Portman’s ass. I was mildly amused by aspects of this film, although in saying this I am a person who is easily amused.
 
Your Highness centres on Thadeous (Danny McBride), a socially retarded, foul-mouthed and portly prince who spends his time chronically masturbating and smoking copious amounts of weed. Thadeous’ efforts are forever being overshadowed by those of his heroic and dashing older brother, Fabious (James Franco). After his latest valiant exploit, Fabious returns with both the severed head of a Cyclops and Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel), a damsel in distress he rescues and then seeks to marry.
 
Unfortunately their wedding plans are spoiled by the evil wizard Leezar, who steals Belladonna with plans to utilise her virginal vagina as a dragon incubator so he can take over the world. Thadeous and Fabious then set out on a quest to destroy Leezar and recapture Belladonna. Along the way they encounter a badass sexy warrior named Isobel (Natalie Portman) who joins them on their quest. The inclusion of such an inefficient, dependent female character such as Belladonna highlights the film’s anachronistic writing and utter irrelevance; Belladonna barely utters three words throughout the entire film.
 
Co-writers Danny McBride and David Gordon Green have employed the use of an established genre (fantasy/action) and infused it with profanity and heavy drug use. It is clear that they are paying homage to the brilliance of 1980s fantasy films such as Conan the Barbarian, The Sword and the Sorcerer and The Beastmaster. The screenplay is somewhat lacking, as it continuously focuses on themes that are both cheesy and in bad taste (paedophilia, molestation, rape). The vast enormity of phallic references made me feel disappointed at the serious lack of articulation or wit in the film. Indeed, you could not smoke enough weed to make this flimsy, vulgar farce of a film funny enough to pay $12 to see. I would recommend either pulling a “green” card before going to see this or watching Your Highness back-to-back with other such lowbrow, stoner films like Pineapple Express and Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.