The poetic addition of lyrics to our music over time has resulted in some truly stunning lines of verse, as well as a few crimes against the human intellect. Basti Menkes shares some of the greatest and the most cringeworthy moments in our lyrical history.
The Good
Pink Floyd, “Time”
“And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.”
Radiohead, “Paranoid Android”
“When I am king you will be first against the wall,
With your opinion which is of no consequence at all.”
Blur, “Out of Time”
“Feel the sunshine on your face; it’s in a computer now,
Gone to the future, way out in space.”
Paolo Nutini, “Comin’ Up Easy”
“It was in love I was created and in love is how I hope I die.”
Run the Jewels, “Close Your Eyes (And Count To Fuck)”
“Liars and politicians, profiteers of the prisons
The forehead engravers, enslavers of men and women
Including members of clergy that rule on you through religion
They’ll strip your kids to the nude and then tell ’em God’ll forgive ’em.”
Akron/Family, “Before and Again”
“All of my dreams are memories that I can’t place to a time or a face
But my body knows of the ribbons and bows that I once was tied in, in my mother’s skin.”
Swans, “The Seer Returns”
“I’m down here naked, there’s a hole in my chest.
Both my arms are broken, pointing east and west.”
Joanna Newsom, “Only Skin”
“Scrape your knee, it is only skin
Makes the sound of violins.”
John Lennon, “Imagine”
“Imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try.
No hell below us, above us only sky.”
Neil Young, “Hey Hey, My My (Into the Black)”
“It’s better to burn out than to fade away.”
Kate Bush, “Sunset”
“Who knows who wrote that song of summer, that blackbirds sing at dusk?
This is a song of color where sands sing in crimson, red and rust,
Then climb into bed and turn to dust.”
NaS, “N.Y. State of Mind”
“I never sleep ’cause sleep is the cousin of death.”
Cage, “Agent Orange”
“Pour beer out for yourself because you’re walking dead,
I’ll burn your house down like a fucking Talking Head.”
The Bad
Bjork, “Hope”
“What’s the lesser of two evils: if a suicide bomber made to look pregnant manages to kill her target, or not?”
The lesser evil would be this lyric not existing in the first place.
Oasis, “Stand By Me”
“Why do you need a reason for to feel happy?”
You’ve just given an English major a reason for to feel awful.
Shakira, “Whenever, Wherever”
“Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”
What was the risk of that ever happening?
Van Halen, “Why Can’t This Be Love?”
“Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.”
As epiphanic as “only your exam grades will tell if you did well on your exam.”
Lil B, “Wonton Soup”
“Bitches suck my dick because I look like J.K. Rowling.”
Never underestimate the fervency of the Harry Potter fandom.
David Guetta feat. Akon, “Sexy Bitch”
“I’m trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful … damn, you’s a sexy bitch.”
Appreciate the sentiment, guys, but maybe give that another go.
Insane Clown Posse, “Miracles”
“Fucking rainbows after it rains, there’s enough miracles here to blow your brains! I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay; it tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away … fucking magnets, how do they work?”
If you still doubt the existence of miracles, this song will surely change that.
Des’Ree, “Life”
“I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s a sight that I fear the most, I’d rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news.”
Wow, that got fucking mundane very quickly.
...And The Yeezy
“Good Morning”
“I’m like the fly Malcolm X: buy any jeans necessary.”
“See Me Now”
“And if you fall on the pavement, that’s yo ass fault!”
“I Am a God”
“In a French-ass restaurant, hurry up with my damn croissants!”
