It's been a few weeks now, and Zoom lectures have well and truly lost their novelty. Lecturers are trying their best, but like some in-person lectures, classes can get boring. Here are some proven ways to spice up your Zoom lectures, keeping yourself alert and ready to learn.
Put a background behind you
This one is simple but effective. No one’s gonna tell you off for having the cast of Madagascar chilling behind you while your lecturer talks about the economic disadvantages of Māori following the signing of the Treaty. If anything they won’t even notice. Here’s an example of a werkroom entrance on Rupaul’s Drag Race:
Admire your crush
Look at your class crush, or maybe even your lecturer, and blow them a kiss. They won’t know who you’re aiming it to, which will make you seem both mysterious and confident. Snapchat your mates a pic of your crush with a love heart around them, or make a Tik Tok with that Ne-Yo song in the background. For the love of God make sure the mute is on.
Take your top off
Only do this if you are wearing a Kath and Kim t-shirt underneath or are Patrick Swayze in the Dirty Dancing era. No-one really wants to see your nipples, Tom.
Interrupt your lecture to teach your class the Tik Tok dances
My suggestions are anything by Doja Cat. The Say So song is easy. I’m sure your class would love it and definitely won’t mind missing crucial information in order to be Tik Tok famous. You can rewatch a lecture but you can never relive a moment. Avoid the Renegade at all costs.]
Drink coke out of a wine glass
From a distance, who is to say it isn’t wine? Day drinking during lockdown is a slippery slope and not recommended, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still get a little dizzy on the fizzy. Bonus points if you can figure out how to vorteke with it.
Start a rave
If you’re lucky enough to have your DJ decks that you asked your mum to get you for Xmas on hand, put them on the desk in front of your laptop and get going. Spin those decks. Scratch them up. Flash those lights and play Darude’s Sandstorm. Try not to cry when you remember that Darude was meant to play at Starters bar.
Show off your pets
For real, everyone loves to see a cute pet. Show them your dog or cat or pet fish #5. Give them a full introduction. If lacking a pet, show your flatmate. Or your nan. Get them to sit in on the lecture, why not.
Get your mum to watch instead
We busy. Playing Mario Kart by yourself is time consuming, and watching mukbang or parkour videos on YouTube is a priority. Ask your mum kindly to go in your place, I’m sure she won’t mind, they are bored too.
Vape tricks
Cleanse your mind and soul by blowing fatty ghosts into your laptop camera. Your classmates will gaze in awe, unless you forget to mute your mic, and instead they focus on your parents fighting in the background. All the while, you’re transported back to playing Wii Sports in 2011, pretending to ignore their threats of divorce, then pretending to heal from the trauma. Lol vape time.