Todd E. Nickerson could have the Tinder bio of your dreams. He’s a one-armed freelance artist and graphic designer who loves “art, movies, books, science, philosophy, cooking and daydreaming”. Todd is also a self-confessed “celibate/non-offending pedophile,” who says he never has, and never will sexually abuse a child.
Pedophiles are the most shat-upon deviants of our society. Considered worse than rapists, arsonists and arguably murderers, they are the metaphorical Ross Geller of “Friends”. To even admit that you have those thoughts is to welcome a tsunami of shame, isolation and hatred. Think you’re already hated enough at the family barbecue? Think again. At least your racist grandma still gets included in the annual Christmas card. Todd spoke to Critic about his experiences of living as an ‘out’ pedophile, and about how he believes child sex robots could be an answer to helping pedophiles within New Zealand.
“I first began to realize my attraction to prepubescent girls in 6th grade [year seven/form one]. I was attracted to the most undeveloped girl in my class, but because she was my age I didn't think too much about it. The next year, when I was 13, I was living with my grandparents, and a neighbour had come to see my grandpa with his daughter, who was six or seven. She came into the next room to watch me draw, and I was smitten. Even so, I thought I would grow out of it and didn't worry too much, but as I got older, the girls I was attracted to stayed the same age, and it gradually began to sink in that I was a pedophile and it wasn't going to go away. My family has gone through various stages of acceptance over the years since I first outed myself, from denial to anger and so on, but I think most of them have now arrived at a level of acceptance because they know me, and know that harming a child is the last thing I would ever do. I would end my life before I let that happen, but I'm no threat to children so I have come to a level of peace and acceptance of that fact. I have no reason to be ashamed of who I am. I didn't choose this and I don't inflict it on anyone else.”
It’s time to rethink what we assume about pedophilia, because whatever we’re doing, it’s not working. According to HELP, Auckland’s specialist provider of sexual abuse support services, one in three girls may be sexually abused before the age of 16. Considering that roughly only 10 out of 100 sexual abuse crimes are reported, this is pretty fucking terrible. Children are being hurt. Something needs to change, and perhaps if we care about pedophiles, then realistically, we can help stop crimes. It’s all very well to take a moral high ground and continue to shit on pedophiles, but that’s clearly not doing anything. This is a problem that needs a solution.
It’s important to note here that pedophiles are people with very specific mental illnesses, some having been abused as children themselves. In no way should this excuse their actions, but it should grant them access to a certain level of care in regard to therapy and treatment. The problem here is that often this treatment isn’t widely available, and in instances when it is, it’s not accessed because of the immense social stigma around ‘outing’ yourself.
Many simply attempt to repress their pedophilic urges rather than face social alienation by talking to their family and friends about it. As Todd says, “This huge stigma results in pedophiles becoming stressed and feeling hopeless, factors which also increase their chances of offending. Worse, young people who are struggling with this sexuality – let's not forget that they're kids too – are being set up for a lifetime of emotional problems, substance abuse and the like, even suicide. Bottom line: society's vindictive mindset towards pedophiles doesn't help kids.”
Meet sex robot Samantha. With a tall slim physique and long auburn hair, she looks like she could be a runway model if she wasn’t so lifeless and plastic.
For millions of men and women she represents an escape from the usual routine of a box of tissues and muffled crying. The sex robot industry is one set to redefine our idea of pleasure as technology progresses into the 21st century. Several companies already manufacture sex robots but more will join because, well, capitalism. Money talks and all that ECON112 bullshit. The more manufacturers who get on board, the cheaper that product will be. Rest assured, the middle class will be rushing to stick their dicks in some reasonably priced silicone.
Mia Lisani is the sales manager of adultshop.com, one of the largest online retailers in Australia and New Zealand. “We’ve often received requests from customers about real-life sex dolls over the years.” She said, “The issue has always been for us the pricing, as, when advising the customer of the price, they lose interest. I’m sure that once the sex robot industry expands, then the pricing will be a lot more competitive.” Despite a murmur from the conservative soccer mom caucus, there’s been very little chat about the morality of this. Presumably, thanks to the swell of fleshlights, dildos and blow-up dolls that have been paraded through our shared millennial consciousness, the concept has become somewhat normalised. If it has a hole, someone will probably fuck it.
Now, picture sex robot Samantha made in the image of an 8-year-old girl. It’s unnerving, isn’t it? But perhaps Samantha could be used to help act out sexual urges – thus saving real children from the same fate. There’s no statistic to prove this, because, much like talking about drugs with your parents, this is all a hypothetical conversation. Think about it though, there’s no harm being accrued to actual children. Todd admits he would consider using one if they were fully legal and affordable, adding “These dolls would be very helpful, as they are a way to channel sexual fantasies and urges towards an inanimate object, assuring no real children are ever harmed.” After all, robots are, well, just robots. If we can accept a horny teenage boy humping some couch cushions, surely we can open our hearts to the possibility of a grown man fucking a child sex robot.
The flipside of this argument asserts that normalising pedophilia is bad – and perhaps by granting access to these sorts of technology, as a society we’re sending the message that we support this form of behaviour, which could lead to a spike in sexual abuse. More to the point, people just hate pedophiles – so most people will hate anything associated with them, regardless of the outcomes of that action.
Todd disputes that argument, “Pedophilia is not a behavior; it's a condition, a sexuality. Like all sexualities, it likely exists from birth or at least from early childhood. It's not like a communicable disease – you're either a pedophile or you're not. So, the idea that sex dolls would ‘encourage’ pedophilia is ridiculous. It's the wrong way to frame the issue. Again, the real issue is whether it would decrease sexual abuse by pedophiles. In my experience, most pedophiles are not interested in harming children. They're stuck with an unfortunate sexual preference that they have to find some means of dealing with. Sex robots would be a good solution here, since they aren't living beings and cannot be harmed.” That being said, it’s hard to say that robots will have much luck in fulfilling sexual desires. Pedophiles are pedophiles because they want to have sex with children, and a robot, while an alternative, will always be a second-best one at that.
The fact remains that child sex robots are pretty unpopular, from both general public opinion to suppliers. When asked about whether adultshop.com would ever consider stocking such an item, Mia said “We would never sell anything that encourages pedophilia. We recently had a doll whose face looked very young – think Cindy Brady from “The Brady Bunch” – and we returned it to the supplier as we do not feel comfortable in selling this.” For this same reason, a lot of mainstream retailers and sex stores probably wouldn’t sell child sex robots even if it were legalized, purely for the bad publicity it would generate. Much like “Club Penguin” fanfic and m-preg “Rick and Morty” anime, child sex robots are most likely to succeed in the dark underbelly of society and the most secretive depths of the internet.
Child sex robots may not be the answer, but they are an answer to the sexual abuse crisis unfolding in New Zealand. It’s a realistic solution that offers private release to a lot of people currently hiding from society. There’s no picture-perfect solution here. Masturbation is an issue where you need to get your hands dirty. Child sex robots could help save actual children from a terrible fate. They might also normalize pedophilia and make the situation worse. It’s anyone’s guess, but it’s a situation that New Zealand will have to deal with in the years to come. In an ideal world, pedophiles wouldn’t exist. But they do, so putting some prepubescent breasts on R2-D2 may be a means to an end.