Moaningful Confession: Kiss'n Boob

Posted 5:40pm Sunday 17th March 2024 by Critic

I’m sure a lot of Dunedin’s Sapphics can relate. The situation here is fucking dire. The streets of Dunners appear to be void of any queer woman, as do the confessions here. So, I thought I’d contribute a story of my own for your lady-on-lady reading pleasure. Let me set the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: A Helping Hand

Posted 4:10pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

I, like many people, am a massive fan of men moaning during sex but unfortunately it has been a while since I have heard this live and in person.  A few months ago, I was scrolling through TikTok and an audio of Pedro Pascal moaning came up on my fyp (thank you algorithm). I hadn’t Read more...

Just Like the Movies

Posted 4:05pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

I made this high on brownies. True story tho, enjoy: It was the third date and we had just finished up at the movies. He suggested that we go somewhere. I gave a shy “okay” smiley nod and then followed him out onto the street. We walked for a while trying to find the perfect private Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Tree hugger, butt fugger

Posted 7:14pm Sunday 11th September 2022 by Critic

To preface, none of this was actually *meant* to happen, but here goes.  So, this friend of a friend added me on Snapchat. Nothing major. I thought it was just a friendly thing – he ended up asking me to hook him up with some herbs, and we talked about that for a bit. Fast forward to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Mr. Squirt, Mr. Peanut Butter

Posted 6:36pm Monday 25th July 2022 by Critic

It was your average Saturday night on Re-O week, I'd finished up at Castle and figured it was time to pull. I had just seen the guy that ghosted me pull another bird and I needed to crack on. With perfect timing, I got a Snapchat from a Tinder guy who I had been talking with a little. I thought, Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | An Intimate Knowledge of Criminal Activity

Posted 12:46pm Sunday 10th July 2022 by Critic

I’m going to have to keep this kinda vague because I’m scared that someone will burn my house down, but here goes. A few months ago, I was enrolled in this course. I was living in the town, and was surrounded by people from all over. It was a great time, I learned heaps, and although I Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Goon, blood, and lies

Posted 7:29pm Sunday 29th May 2022 by Critic

WARNING: This story is extremely chaotic but feels too good not to share. As this story has come up at numerous kickons, and has haunted me for the past year, I feel it is my duty to publicly confess the fateful events that happened that night. I’m sorry in advance.  Picture a Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | See you later, phallus-gater. In a while, Crocs-odile

Posted 6:53pm Friday 1st April 2022 by Critic

I hadn’t had a root since the world’s greatest heartbreak hit me a year earlier. I was ready. It was my time of the month, I was wearing my lucky dress and my favourite Crocs. My way of flirting with everyone and anyone was to insist that after every nang, you smooch the person next to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Not into that shit

Posted 4:19pm Sunday 27th February 2022 by Critic

I believe I have had the shittiest attempt at a hookup ever.  To set the scene: I’d just freshly moved out of my mum’s house into my first flat. My flatmates are both out so I decide fuck it, time to hop on Grindr, what’s the worst that could happen? So I message this guy Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Like a Chainsaw

Posted 4:21pm Sunday 9th May 2021 by Critic

I had a lot of questions when I first came into the possession of some anal beads, courtesy of Critic for some prior raunchy content. I had delved into a bit of butt stuff before but nothing much more than a thumb up the bum or a weak and dissatisfying attempt at anal. This gift had my senses piqued Read more...