It’s been argued that Steinlager is New Zealand's beer. It's what defines us as Kiwis compared to the god awful beers that Australia produces. Steinlager is like Speights' older cousin who lives in Auckland; a bit more classy, but punishing whenever they speak. After tasting, we can agree that it is the JAFA of all beers. People may say “you need to have beer ice cold to enjoy it,” but please stop lying to yourself. Having a Steinlager ice cold or lukewarm won't matter, it will still taste like cheap sparkling Fiji water.
The hypothesis is that because they sponsor the All Blacks, it therefore must be good, right? Wrong. This is a classic marketing swindle. Just as eating Weet-Bix won’t put you on the starting line-up of the All Blacks, no amount of Steiny will either. They don’t even come with sick rugby cards. Just because you drink ten of them watching your kid play Under 11s Rugby, that doesn’t mean you’re gonna be the next Richie Mccaw. I’m talking to your middle-aged men from South Otago who think “if i didn't do my ACL I’d be the next All Black.” Cut your losses, mate. Despite the crowd that gathers when drinking Steinys, it doesn't prove that bad of a taste compared to the Export Golds of the world.
Steinlager may be the perfect beer to drink when it's a hot summer day due to the overwhelming sparkling water taste. It has the refreshing vibe that could potentially cure a hangover on Boxing Day after too many mimosas and a rough game of backyard cricket. Although, after a couple of these notes of Clutha river tap water become apparent, so proceed with caution. Steinlager is the ultimate dad drink. It reeks of good drunk chats and early folds. It's a beer that your old man would offer to you when you were 13 and had never tried alcohol. Like, sure I'm gonna take it, but I'm definitely not going to enjoy it or drink it ever again. Shot dad.
Bringing a refreshing taste to the beer market, it stands out from the crowd and is something that is much needed after the feared RTD takeover. Although what does spark problems is the price, my god. When trotting along to the liquor store my eyes started to roam the gutters for loose change because Steinlager Classic sits at a steep $51 for a 24 pack. So if you're ready to fork out your supermarket shopping budget for a box of these, be prepared with disappointment because they taste a bit shit, followed by a sore head in the morning.
Pairs well with: An All Blacks victory
X factor: Spicy Fiji water
Chugability: 5/10
Taste Rating: 7/10