“Bro, my business creating 0 calorie lemon-flavoured RTDs has gone under, who knew the market was so flooded?”
“Bro, my DJing career has failed and my dad has cut me out of the trust fund because of my crippling weed dependency. How are we going to fuel this lifestyle?”
“Bro, Protein Beer, bro.”
Hypothesis:
Beer, but it gives you gains.
Method:
Step One: Ingredients
1x 330ml full cream Speight’s
2x scoop of vanilla protein powder (30 grams of protein)
Step Two: Mix
Critic opted for putting it into a pint glass and mixing it together with a spoon, in an
attempt to avoid excess froth from putting the beer in a shaker, or the potential
explosion of blending your Protein Beer float.
Step Three: Drink
For the love of God do this quickly. Finish it before the protein curdles in the beer.
Please.
Step Four: Profit?
Findings:
At first glance, the Protein Beer kind of looks like an iced coffee, settling into a weird light brown colour – although you can still see ‘protein sediment’ swimming about in the beer. The drink doesn’t smell particularly bad; however, the ‘chemical reaction’ of the protein and beer ‘froth’ at the top made Critic feel a little bit uneasy, before still choosing to consume this drink.
At the point of first contact (when the vanilla protein was completely dissolved and was somewhat un-offensive but yet not even close to a description of ‘nice’), the drink can be best described as a liquidated alcoholic Weetbix that was loaded with a shit-tonne of sugar.
Now, after forcing down a couple of sips, is when the protein powder starts to clump at the surface, resulting in an almost instinctual gag reflex whenever the Protein Beer makes contact with your mouth. Despite it really not tasting that bad, the idea of what you’re putting into your body does a lot to inhibit its drinkability.
After the protein had truly curdled, this drink became truly difficult. Something about having to chew your vanilla Speight’s and sift chunks through your teeth really doesn’t make it a refreshing drink to sip in the sun on a Sunday arvo.
Discussion:
While this variation of the Protein Beer has its limits, the concept has great potential – including the addition of either nicotine/caffeine to enhance the boost of this beverage. Further experimentation with different/unflavoured protein powders is needed.
Next time, and there will be a next time, the experiment will opt for the ingredients of vanilla protein powder, milk, Kahlúa, and a touch of vodka. A protein White Russian, if you will.