So there’s this really hot chick on my floor. In fact she is just across the hall from me. We’re great friends and get on really well. I’d love to hook up with her, but I’m not sure if I can handle the awkward morning after experience. I’d be pretty gutted if she came home with someone else to be honest.
What the hell should I do?
Sup mate,
If you really like this girl, go for it – don’t let her be the one that got away. A really pretty girl in Dunedin is hard to come by and it sounds like you’ve found a diamond in the rough. I am not totally sure what you’re implying by “awkward experiences”, but if you’re referring to the exaggerated morning-after stories that circulate in halls don’t fret, as they’re often untrue. Step it up mate and give it a crack. As Mark Twain put it, “ten years from now you will be more disappointed by the people you haven’t done than by the ones you have.”
God Speed,
Dear Howie,
Last Saturday I had a night out with the girls. We headed to the Cook and soon enough we were creeping around the dance floor. I found a nice young man from UniCol and I decided to take him back to my flat. After some not-so-subtle hints I decided to attempt to give him a good time. There was, however, one problem – he was as soft as a sponge. I was down there for what seemed like hours before I gave up. How long should a girl attempt to tame a man’s junk before it’s time to throw in the towel?
Hi buddy,
I probably wouldn’t stay down there too long – if he hasn’t got a cocksicle after a few minutes, it’s probably not going to happen. At the end of the day it’s not an erotic experience and it’s not going anywhere. I can imagine the act of sucking on a limp phallus is not the most dignified way to finish your night out with the girls, nor is the most exultant thing for your gentleman. In future maybe test the water with some hand relief just to check his soldier’s still standing.
Keep it up!
Howie
(email howie at critic@critic.co.nz)
