Columns

Taste: 6/10
Price: $12 per 6-pack,
Standards Per Vessel: 2.0 (8%)

I was pretty stoked this week when I found out Cumby Superliquor was going to be hooking me up with the ever rowdy Diesel, its not often one gets to write on a subject so close to ones heart.

Diesel, a mix of only the finest genuine kentucky Bourbon whiskey and premium cola, is The Drinks Factory’s shining star in the lucrative New Zealand B&C market. The standout performer in its field, I believe it’s Diesels use of only the finest of ingredients that allows it to stand head and shoulders above its competitors.

While Woodys, Cody’s, Biullets and Barrel 51s are all just fine, the slightly less sweet Diesel gives them all a hiding Sonny-Bill could learn a thing or two from. Its unparalleled taste combined with its automotive themed marketing campaign, and beautifully simple yet stunningly elegant black and blue can, have all contributed in propelling Diesel to the dazzling North D liquor store centre-piece it is today.

While the $9.99 specials of my fresher year have become a thing of the past, the eternally stubborn diesel has fought off years of inflation and increasing alcohol taxes in order to stay just below that magical $1-a-standard barrier. A truly practical choice for John Key funded nights on the piss.

While Diesel is a fantastic choice for any drinking occasion, from Saturday night pre-horsing, to medically ignorant red-cards, it truly finds its place when your desire to get fucked up exceeds the time you have to achieve this goal.

Buyer be warned though, Diesel has been known to evoke a werewolf like effect in some consumers. I once had a flat mate Ryan who, like a scene from Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, would occasionally invite his mate Diesel Ryan along for the night, many a night has been spent trying to prevent fights and protect household glass. There is even an old Hayward legend of a character named Big Bad who once tried to stab a dude and only came out when there was Diesel to be found.

All in all a perfect choice of beverage for the budget concious but borderline alcoholic winter scarfie. Cheers Cumby Superliquor.

Your boy,

Pillbo Swaggins