Clearly gutted to have missed out on the opportunity to utilise any of the above hilarious titles, the ODT relegated this story to the third page. Or perhaps it was to make space for the breaking news that yes, Dunedin has couch fires, and those are BAD.
Luckily the ODT is all over the flammable furniture issue plaguing Dunedin, as the DCC is fully occupied contending with its biggest challenge to date: birds shitting on their stuff.
Wednesday’s news saw the ODT tackling a more “modern” topic: are people having enough sex? This woman wants to know:
And before you mock her sassy fedora or preference for multiple shirts, bear in mind that she confessed to having sex at least once a day for her 20-year marriage, a goal that even the most ambitious of Unicol sluts might struggle to maintain once they escape the fetid cesspit that is their hallowed hall.