Each week Critic wants to hear from you if you’re struggling to approach the man or woman of your dreams. Does she always sit on that front row seat and give the lecturer far more attention than you’re comfortable with? Does he stroll past your window each morning and your only attempts at getting his attention have been taking a little longer to put clothes on?
Flick your stories to crush@critic.co.nz
I am not sure what first drew my eyes to him — it could have been him as a person, but part of me thinks it was him and his bicycle. I first saw him on my way to my 9am Monday lecture. I was walking past the hospital, tired, dreading the week ahead. But this typical morning lethargy melted away when everything I could want on a bicycle just rolled by.
His long legs were perfectly gangly in their black skinny jeans. His loose black jumper paired nicely with the hard curve of his high-top Docs. The speed he attained on the bicycle implied a sense of daring, and yet he maintained a respect for safety and himself by wearing a helmet (well, it is illegal not to, but whatevs). Very quickly (like his bike speed) he became my health goth eye crush — my wonderfully bittersweet Monday morning delight.
At this initial distance, I could handle my crush. But things have intensified recently — one could say at a “record” pace. Yes, it turns out he is also a part-time DJ, with an obsession for collecting records. He doesn’t like music of the mainstream kind — his interests are deep house, punishing techno and more. When I found this out in a chance discussion with a friend of a friend of his, all I could think of was how deep in my house he could go. Would he punish me if I went techno? Wild thoughts, but I couldn’t help it — these ideas kept cycling through my mind!
Whatever the case, I just want you to know, DJ health goth, if we get married, I won’t mind if our carriage is a bicycle built for two.