Dear Sexcellent,
I’ve had this problem for a while. I’m a guy, and I tend to last too long in the bedroom. I feel like this is an odd thing to complain about, but my girlfriend gets frustrated because I almost never finish, and she gets tired and sore. The only times I ever do finish is when I’m on my own, and it takes about an hour. What’s wrong with me?
From Larry Longlast
Dear Larry Longlast,
It sounds like you might have delayed ejaculation. Basically the opposite kind of problem to premature ejaculation, but still frustrating. It is a condition where it takes a long time and a lot of sexual stimulation for a man to climax. For some men, they are unable to ejaculate at all. Anything longer than 30 minutes of direct stimulation can be classified as delayed ejaculation. It is also known as impaired ejaculation.
There are a lot of varied causes. It can be temporary, or lifelong. It can be caused by health conditions, medications, surgeries. There are various medical and physical potential causes. Alcohol can contribute (ever heard of a guy not being able to have sex when he’s drunk?).
Talk to your doctor, of course. This may be the result of a serious condition, and your best bet is to speak to a medical professional about it. Treatments for delayed ejaculation depend on what is causing it. It could be therapy, or medication for psychological issues, it might be the result of an injury, or a physical problem. There’s no set medicine or treatment for delayed ejaculation, so your doctor will work what is going on, and treat you accordingly.
After seeing a doctor, perhaps you need more dedicated attention in the bedroom. Have a discussion with your partner about what you like. Get involved in some serious foreplay before you launch directly into sex. Maybe some oral sex, fooling around, making out and other such fun will help get you there in the end. Take some me time, and figure out what you really like and what really stimulates you, then give it a go. You can but try.
Stay safe, have fun, and good luck,
-S xx