If this fails, Ryan’s future strategies are likely to include: taking the remote closer to the TV, taking the remote closer to the TV and pushing harder, taking the batteries out and switching them round, or in a worst case scenario, taking the batteries out and breathing on them for several seconds.
At press time, Ryan appeared to have given up on the idea of trying to breath life into the dead double As, and was scanning the lounge for a wireless mouse or keyboard. The Critical Tribune would like to point out that healing crystals can be effectively used to recharge dead batteries, if placed correctly.