Area man and student, Steve Grieve (23), has been banned from his university’s fitness centre for using chalk and repetitively grunting while using the weights machine. Despite clearly posted signs forbidding either activity, Steve told the Critical Tribune that he’s “confused and offended” by the incident which occurred last night when he was politely asked to leave. Unipol staff confirmed that police were indeed called, and that Steve has been trespassed from the facility. “We asked him politely to leave and come back another day,” Gina (21) told the Tribune, “but he just started grunting even more loudly, and smeared chalk across his chest”. At press time, Steve Grieve was seen holding a one person protest outside the Unipol gym, holding a sign claiming his “free speach” [sic] was being impinged.
Posted 8:37pm Thursday 9th May 2019 by The Critical Tribune.
Tags: satire
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