Rate or Hate

Rate or Hate

Rate

Making out. I think it’s a dead romance! I love just lazily making out with someone all morning. Beautiful stuff. 

People who ASK if they can choke you. WAY better than just randomly being near-suffocated in the Subs bathrooms with no warning.

Those boxers that have a little hole in the side of the penis pouch for easy access. It’s so convenient for public places e.g. your boyfriend’s friends’ parents’ hot tub.

Period sex. I have actually never done it because I don’t get my period but god I wish I could because there’s a specific brand of period horny that just hits so diff.

Reclaiming your virginity because you’re ashamed of every sexual partner you’ve ever had. Yes I’ve had sex, yes I am a virgin, we exist <3 

Boys who whisper ‘is this okay?’ UGH how sexy, I like it a lot a lot!

 

Hate

Dirty talk. Look it’s a personal preference but I would personally rather die than have some sweaty breatha just repeatedly say ‘oh yeah you like that don’t you’. Not really actually Brandon, I could’ve done it better myself.

Men who won’t choke you but ask you to choke them. That is going too far on respecting women!!! We want equality! 

Porn. It’s just lame. Wank in the shower to your own sad thoughts like a real man.

The fact that more of my female friends HAVEN’T had an orgasm than have. Obviously they’re few and far between when you’re fucking the breatha population but it’s still sad :(

When you wake up a bit horny on a Sunday morning and you’re gonna whip out the vibrator but then ALL your flatties come into your room to debrief on the night before. #cuckedagain

Boys who push your head during a blowjob. Trust the process baby just lie back and let me work my magic x

This article first appeared in Issue 16, 2021.
Posted 5:54pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Sasha Freeman .