Forget all that, now there’s an app that turns your relationship into a game for both of you to play, and it’s called Kahnoodle (iOS/Android in development; https://www.kahnoodle.com/app/).
Kahnoodle encourages you to do nice things for your significant other in order to fill up your “love tank” (not a euphemism). You can earn points (called kudos), which you can then redeem for Koupons. Koupons range from sweet to saucy: have a picnic! Make a sex tape! Oral sex!
If your sex life is waning, the app can send you push notifications to initiate sex. I don’t know about you, but nothing gets me wet like an instruction from my phone to get it on before my love tank runs dry (still not a euphemism).
Kahnoodle apparently wants to make maintaining your relationship “automatic and easy,” and this is where it fails in my opinion. It’s nice when relationships are easy, but rough patches are an important part of relationships. Rough patches, and getting over them, allow you to re-evaluate your relationship every so often, talk about what’s pissing you off, and reconnect.
Automating a relationship is completely counter-intuitive. Relationships aren’t automatic! It takes effort and thoughtfulness to keep a great relationship going, and having an app remind you to do nice things for your partner completely dulls the reward.
If a couple needs to work on reconnecting with one another, they should of course do so. But using Kahnoodle is not the way to do it! Using Kahnoodle shifts your relationship from being intrinsically motivated (doing things because they bring you pleasure) to being extrinsically motivated (doing things to obtain points and rewards). Ultimately, intrinsically motivated acts are more emotionally rewarding.
Although I’m outraged at this shallow and flawed app, I shouldn’t be surprised that it exists – it’s tied to an American “concierge” service that users pay to arrange dates (activities, not people!) for them. Call them up, talk about your interests and budget, and they’ll arrange something for you and your date. The app ties in by flogging discounts on flowers and meals. Apparently nothing is sacred.
If your relationship does need a little help, put your phone down, turn it off and pay some attention to your significant other. In return, they might initiate sex or cook you a meal without the seedy exchange of a Koupon being necessary.
Not all couples apps are bad, though – Avocado (iOS/Android; https://avocado.io/) is a better option for keeping your relationship ‘appy. This is the app for you if you and your significant other are “that couple” on Facebook. You know – the couple with posts all over each other’s timelines, the cutesey messages, the smooching photos. If you are guilty of this, please stop it. Keep that shit off Facebook! It’s time to get a (virtual) room.
Avocado is that very room: it creates a private social network for you and your lover. You can message each other, share pictures, sync calendars and share shopping lists. There’s even a “draw something” option so that you can send each other silly doodles. You can also send virtual hugs and kisses by … umm … hugging and kissing your phone.
Couple (iOS/Android http://couple.me/) is a similar, but less adorable, app that adds the extra option to send Snapchat-like self-destructing pictures. No more worrying about accidentally sending your nudie to your sister. Couple’s virtual kiss function is a bit less weird than Avocado’s – you both touch your screens in the same spot at the same time and it will make your phones vibrate. Awwww.
These apps aren’t for every couple, but they definitely have their place. If your relationship is long distance, or you and your partner just like to share a lot, look into Avocado or Couple. They’re fun and private, and you won’t gross out all your Facebook friends with your frequent outpourings of love.