Rating: 1 crashed car
Reviewer: Michelle Rodriguez
I left work and went to my car, only to find a man standing by it. He was old, like 70 years old. He had his back to me, and he was wearing a skirt that was so short I could see his entire bum.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m Vin Diesel,” said the man, “and it’s time we went for a cruise.”
He then started ripping all the outer panels off my car to make it lighter so it would go faster.
“Stop that Vin Diesel!” I yelled. “You can come for a drive with me but don’t wreck my car!”
He put the panels back on. We got in the car and I took off towards my home in Port Chalmers. I was sticking to the speed limit, but he told me “YOLO” and then stomped his foot on top of mine on the accelerator.
We sped up faster and faster, with me frantically steering round the corners, until I lost control and drove off the road and went flying toward the sea. As we flew the car caught fire.
“I don’t want to go swimming today,” said Vin Diesel, and he pulled off his belt, opened a window, looped it over a tree branch, and grabbed my hand. We were both pulled out of the open window, but I’d grabbed onto the door handle of the car and it pulled right off. The car body caught fire and we rode the heatwave, using the car door as a sled, and flew away from the tree and back onto dry land.
Below me I saw my car fall into the water. The fire went out and it started to sink. Just then an enemy submarine burst out of the water like a whale, caught fire, and blasted my car up onto the road next to. It landed the right way up, but its front was all bashed in. “What the hell?” I said. I turned to look for Vin Diesel, but he was walking away from me. Without his belt, his skirt had fallen off completely and he was naked from the waist down.
“COME BACK,” I screamed, “YOU WRECKED MY CAR,” but he ignored me. He disappeared, and I called the tow truck.