Culture

Directed by Zack Snyder, (0.5/5).
A 13-year old boy’s wet dream, this movie is reminiscent of being put through the pain of watching someone play Xbox. Sure, the player is having fun but you, the spectator are not! Here’s the film’s premise: evil stepfather sends girl to a nuthouse to cover up the fact that he murdered her sister. The nuthouse is also run as a men’s entertainment house where the girls are forced to dance. Our heroine Baby Doll (Emily Browning) has the ability to dream and go somewhere else when she dances. Determined to fight for her freedom, Baby Doll urges four other young girls – the reluctant Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), the outspoken Rocket (Jena Malone), the street-smart Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and the fiercely loyal Amber (Jamie Chung) – to band together. They must try to escape a terrible fate at the hands of their captors, Blue and Madam Gorski, before the mysterious High Roller comes for Babydoll. This takes us into the vivid imagination of a young girl whose dream world provides the ultimate escape from her darker reality. As everyone watches her dance, she and the other girls are able to distract everyone while planning their escape.
 

The film flits between dream and reality, with the dreams being action-packed and full of the girls taking on armies of evil men. While the epic fantasy and special effects were good, there was no story line and the characters are weak. The movie relies wholeheartedly on its soundtrack as there is very little dialogue.

 
To be honest, the thought of anyone paying to see this movie breaks my heart a little. The best part of the movie was the popcorn and slushy, which only lasted half an hour. With two other people in the theatre it was no good even people watching. Epic quotes included “if you don’t believe in something, you’ll fall for anything”, which nearly caused a choking fit as I laughed and cringed at the same time. There wasn’t even any sex! No nudity, no pashing, no BOOBS! What are 13-year old boys paying their money to see this movie for??? Conclusion: go and see Bieber instead.

 
Rating 0.5/5, only cos the slushy was good.