On August 9, the Landers Army - the official fanpage for the Highlanders - hosted the inaugural Beer Pong Masters at Starter Bar. Teams of two played for the rights to be Dunedin’s Best Team, and to head up to Auckland to demolish those northern fuckwits at the best sport ever made.
From 12 until late, 47 teams of two descended upon Starters Bar to ignite a day of rigorous skill. Set into multiple pools, the top two from each pool would continue into eliminations. From there, the top two teams would go to Auckland for the finals (not that Auckland is a hot destination right now).
A sharp-eyed player from the Team "Winston's Boxing Gloves", said that the event was "a good mix of competitiveness and sportsmanship. It was good to see people there to have a good time and sink some piss”.
The attendees represented Beer Pong as the beautiful sport that it is. Rules were sent to contestants four days prior. Print-outs were spread throughout the bar to remind everyone of fair play before the event started. Critic watched a few battles, and can report that the fine people who attended and played adhered to these rules with fine eloquence.
"I'm not even fussed that it's Water Pong, having to keep an eye on my own jug gives [the player] a few more games before getting proper wellied [drunk],” said one attendee. “Such a professional set up, plus I can watch the rugby later." Highlanders lost the game in question, fuck the Crusaders.
Aside from the Beer Pong, those who dressed in the best outfit won a VIP package to the Highlanders vs Hurricanes match. The costume winners were nothing short of modern art.
"Redemption Arc”, comprised of a pair dressed as Uncle Iron and Prince Zuko, from Nickelodeon’s "Avatar, the Last Airbender" won without question. Their costume was so elaborate that they even hid paper streamers in their sleeves to imitate firebending, just like the best episode* in the show 'The Ember Island Players'.
*If you disagree, challenge Critic at Beer Pong then. Being in the same bar as these talented sportspeople, winners and losers alike, immediately improved Critic’s beer pong win percentage by osmosis.