Columns

Proctology’s Hyde Street Special begins with a marketing student who attempted to gain work experience at Hyde Street after she ordered a batch of green wristbands online to sell for entry. Police were informed, intercepted the courier and subsequently delivered the wristbands to the girl’s house themselves. The Proctor says “she got a talking to,” but believed “she was a bit more ingenious than the guys who painted green stripes around their wrists.”

Freshers were not allowed at this year’s Hyde Street Keg Party, and when asked if he felt this made a dramatic difference to the event, the Proctor simply responded that “it made a difference not having people from Gore, Milton, and Timaru.”

Ten students were arrested at Hyde Street, either for trespassing or disorder, after being told to leave multiple times. All students were released with only warnings.

The Proctor appreciated the support of various groups: “OUSA, Green Frogs and The Red Turkeys, or whatever they were, were all helping out.” Emergency departments told the Proctor that the day was only “very slightly busier than a usual Saturday.” The Proctor says the Hyde Street Party “was a ripper” and “I’d say it’ll be back next year.”

In other news, a student has received a $900 fine for disorderly behaviour after lighting a couch fire last month. The Proctor says this is the highest fine he has heard of for such disorderly behaviour as judges start to crack down on fire starters.

A brick wall separating flats was knocked down during a recent flat party. The girl who organised the party explained that “we had just been tapping our high heels on the wall.”

“We still don’t know what really happened,” the Proctor says, “but they have agreed to pay for damages and fix it.”

Selling notes from previous years’ lectures has also landed a few people a visit to the Proctor. “People need to be aware of the copyright rules,” he advises. “Make your own notes and sell them only if you want to get into that scam.”

On a final note, the Proctor is looking forward to the stories the upcoming ball season will bring. He also encourages students to get a bit more creative with Red Cards, and says “although it’s quite dangerous, a pumpkin on the clocktower was always an interesting one.”