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Hello Lovelies,

This week I want to tell you a story about a little boy called Lloyd. This boy grew up in a small rural town in the south of Aotearoa. He had a “traditional” upbringing, surrounded by a loving family, Christian values, hard work and lots of toys. He was a bright kid, good at school – though not so great at sport. He had good friends and was respected by most people he met.

Then puberty hit and turned his life upside down. As hormones started shooting around his body he gained new feelings of sexual desire; he realised something was wrong when this desire was directed more towards his male classmates than his female ones. He knew this was bad because he had heard his friends and family make jokes about fags, dykes and poofters. He knew that this was something he didn’t want to be. He knew his friends and family would think less of him if he was one.

And so he ignored those feelings and did his best to be just like everyone else. But it was hard. He needed to always be on his guard, always making sure that what he said, how he dressed, how he gestured and even how he walked was just like how his mates acted. He lived his life in a way that wouldn’t let anyone suspect a thing. He became quite a good actor, though he almost lost his own sense of self in the process.

This is a common experience to many queer people in New Zealand. They discover that they are part of a minority and feel that they need to keep their identity hidden due to fear of discrimination, marginalisation and oppression. Our society keeps people in the closet because we have yet to progress to the point where being LGBTIAQ is seen to be just as “normal” as being straight. We keep people in the closet due to cultural, religious and patriarchal assumptions of what is right, good or proper.

The good news is that we can all play a part in changing society and render closets redundant.

Yours Fabulously,

Sir Lloyd Queerington