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Moving on from last week’s introduction to non-monosexuality, today it’s time to bust some myths and talk media representation.

Let’s get this out of the way right now: Non-monosexuals are no more likely to cheat, be promiscuous or have trouble committing to a relationship than anyone else. These traits aren’t determined by sexual orientation, but by the choices of individuals – the sexuality spectrum is broad, but it’s tiny compared to the variety of approaches to sex and relationships.

That said, there are two important absolutes around non-monosexuality. Firstly, non-monosexual people can’t force themselves to be straight or gay. If a non-monosexual person, over the course of a few years, finds that they’ve become solely attracted to one gender, that’s fine, but there’s no way to intentionally make it happen. Nobody can, or should, force themselves into a box that doesn’t suit them – labels were made to fit people, not the other way around. Secondly, a non-monosexual person is never defined by their current partner – if a bisexual woman has sex with a man, she hasn’t “turned straight,” and if a pansexual man is dating a man, he’s still not gay.

Media portrayals and discussions of non-monosexuality are few and far between, and tend to exaggerate stereotypes around attraction to multiple genders. The term “bisexual/pansexual erasure” refers to the massive under-representation of bisexuality and especially pansexuality in literature, film and pop culture. Bisexual men, in particular, are regularly dismissed by the media and society as “not really existing.” Even TV shows that appear to be queer-friendly, such as The L Word and Buffy, tend to either support negative non-monosexual stereotypes or reinforce the gay/straight binary.

On the bright side, pop-culture is gradually warming up to non-monosexuality. For examples of realistically portrayed (if unusually promiscuous) non-monosexual characters, look to Bones’ Angela Montenegro, Firefly’s Inara Serra and Doctor Who’s Captain Jack Harkness.