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“We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” Or are you used to it? Are you so used to it that every time you hear about a pride parade or see queer posters you think, “They’ve got gay marriage, what more could they want?” Well, I am happy to admit that those conspiracy theorists who warn you about a “gay agenda” are onto something; we have an agenda and that agenda is real equality.

When I say equality I am referring to a situation where people and relationships are valued equally by society. This seems quite simple in theory but what does it mean in practice? It means that we need to challenge our belief that children are best raised in a “traditional” family with a (cisgendered) Mum and Dad. It means that we need to stop assuming that every baby born with a vagina will identify as a girl (and vice versa). It means that we need to stop reacting when we see two guys making out.

What equality means is the same access to health services, toilets facilities and adoption options. It means that forms will provide options for our relationships and our gender identities. It means that our young people will no longer be over represented in bullying and suicidality statistics. It means that we can go out at night and not fear for our safety because we look a bit “too queer.”

You can help make this happen, you can use your privilege to help change society to be more queer-friendly. You can start by never using terms such as dyke, faggot or homo. You can stop using phrases like “that’s so gay” and “no homo” and you can stop your mates using them too. You can educate your friends and family on the terms and ideas you have read about in this column. You can read more widely about queer theory and how power and privilege operates in society.

You can become an ally to our communities. Then when we have whole swathes of people committed to this, we might just create a society where allies are rendered redundant.