Culture

You know those vibration masturbation apps that are widely available in app stores? I have questions:

Why would that be a good idea? First of all, your phone is a disgusting piece of equipment. It’s covered in germs and you probably use it while you’re on the toilet. And secondly, the vibration your phone can muster up is pretty piss-poor when compared to a real vibrator. Good luck getting off on that. Just use your hands! There’s an app for that now!

HappyPlayTime is an app in development that encourages women to masturbate. Its philosophy is that “by talking openly and lightheartedly about female masturbation, we are taking the first step to becoming truly sexually liberated.” Grand.

I’m not going to argue that this is a noble cause. Female masturbation is an issue that, for many people, is surrounded by shame and repression that needs to be lifted.

I’m just not sure that HappyPlayTime’s approach is the best way to go about it. The app’s first “lesson” points the user toward the clitoris and suggests that they rub it in a circular motion until a pink tick appears, indicating orgasm. That’s the crux of it, I suppose. I’d be interested to see what the other lessons involve.

What I do take issue with is the design. Far from sexy, mature, or arousing, the app’s mascot is a dancing illustration of a vulva that looks disturbingly like a baby. This, combined with the overwhelming baby pink colour scheme, seems condescending and (worse) infantilising. Women who are trying to learn about their bodies need mature and realistic help – they don’t need to be babied.

My suggestion? Scrap the design, but keep the concept. Come up with something sexier, and next time, don’t make your mascot look like a baby.

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