Horoscopes: Week 2 2024

Posted 4:21pm Saturday 2nd March 2024 by Critic

Aquarius Aquarius, 2024 is the year to be you. Wear that kinda ugly op-shop top or those shoes that hurt to walk in. You make it look good!  Dunedin hot spot to visit: First Church Pisces Sometimes it feels like everyone hates you, and maybe they do. You’re still hot though, Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1 2024

Posted 4:47pm Sunday 25th February 2024 by Critic

Aquarius  Put the fucking pastel highlighters down - it’s too early to start colour-coding things. Organisation won’t bring you the comfort you crave, but people will. Get out there and don’t let the start of sem pass you by.  New Year’s resolution to ditch: All Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 12:43pm Sunday 8th October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  This is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me: been there, done that, but every day above ground is a good day. Remember that.    Indulgence to succumb to: Fighting with your conservative family members.   Pisces  Soon you’ll Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 11:03am Sunday 1st October 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Time to sit back, relax, and think about the Roman Empire.    Area to self-improve on: Being rational and deploying logic.    Pisces  Say goodbye to your people pleaser era, Pisces. You have been far too kind and tolerant of other Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 24

Posted 10:18pm Sunday 24th September 2023 by Critic

Aquarius  Aquarius, this coming period of your life will bring about questioning, self-reflection, and a desire for change. Remember to not shy away from these feelings, as they will serve for the best in the long run.    Sexy activity for the week: Engaging in Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 19

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 13th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Being numb and having no feelings is actually not normal. In fact, it’s rather concerning. Ease up on the sociopathy this week, and try to find some emotion deep within the creases of your soul.  DIY project: Clean your mojo dojo casa Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 18

Posted 2:25pm Monday 7th August 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 The plot? Babe, you’ve lost it. Try getting a grip on reality this week and restore the chaotic good within your soul.  Budgeting tip: Stop vaping.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, the weather is shit, the vibes are bad, and no one Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 16

Posted 4:54pm Monday 24th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 As the semester kicks off, it appears there is some romance waiting in the wings for you. Don’t let your commitment issues or dark humour scare this potential lover off; try and be remotely normal for once.  Self care Sunday moment: Rotting with a Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 15

Posted 10:09pm Tuesday 18th July 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time for you to normalize insanity. Flatmates pissing you off? Scream at them and eat their cheese. Situationship going downhill? Fuck someone else. Life is too short to not be your best, unhinged self.  Way to get warm: Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 13

Posted 6:35pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to enter your problematic era. Start some shit, spread a rumor, call it how you see it. Take no prisoners this week, besties. Scandal of the week: Pizzagate.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 There is something about pisces and your ability to Read more...